Tails Gets Gay - Bugs & Daffys Story. Chapter 1/Script
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"Damn.. I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER!!" |
Page 1
(Bugs walks out of "Branch Cranch Bar." with a bottle)
BugsLolololol.
Butter Tits (Hidden)Hahahahah... Look at that noob. What a talentless looking rabbit.
BugsWhat's that sound?
Dick Taker (Hidden)Hahahahahah...
BugsWho's there?
(Butter Tits and Dick Taker reveal themselves)
Butter TitsYou're a stupid rabbit with an ugly face. And your hopping looks even more stupid. you damn retarded stupid person.
Butter TitsYou mad? You look mad you stupid bitch.
Dick TakerI don't think she can understand you. She's stupid or something.
BugsAre you talking to me doc?
BugsI'll be honest I'm a little wasted right now.
Butter TitsYour gay and a retard. And that's all I have to say.
Dick TakerWait, You didn't say it all.. You gotta make fun of his retarded ears and ugly teeth.
(Bugs is shocked)
Butter TitsWell this stupid gay guy doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying because he's a stupid gay guy.
(Bugs starts crying)
BugsYou...
BugsYou.. Called me gay..
BugsWaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
(Bugs runs away)
Butter TitsYeah! You better run you gay fag retard!!
Page 2
(Cut to Bugs laying in his bed)
BugsBut..I'm not gay..I have a girlfriend.. Why would they say that..?
BugsI'm not gay..It's so untrue..
BugsWhy were they saying that? That was mean...I'm not gay...
(Bugs starts thinking of Daffy)
Bugs (Thinking)What..Why am I thinking about him?
BugsNo...No...Those were just trolls...
BugsYa know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend so I won't be mad
(Bugs pulls out his phone. We get to see who he is in concat with: “Lola <3”, “Daffy”, “Coyote”, “Porki [sic]”, “Petunia”, “Sylvester”, “Tom”, “Spee[dy]”, “CC”, “Tin[a]” and “La[zerbot(?)]”.)
(Bugs starts texting Lola. We get to see their previous text messages:
Bugs: I'm going to the bar tonight.
Lola: Have fun Bugs, I love you
Bugs: I love you 2)
BugsI'm not gay. I'll show them!
(Bugs texts Lola:
Bugs: Lola, wanna have some sex?
Lola responds:
Lola: Ok.)
(Bugs puts on some clothes and walks out of his house)
Page 3
(Cut to Bugs and Lola having sex. Although, Bugs fails to get an erection)
BugsI'm sorry, Lola...
LolaDon't worry about it bugs. Your dick still works. I heard that men have issues getting hard when they're very stressed. We'll try again later.
BugsNo Lola.. That's not it.. I just... I've had a lot on my mind..
LolaMaybe there's just not enough blood pumping in your dick.
BugsNo Lola...
LolaWhat is it..?
BugsI don't wanna talk about it.. I don't know how to...
LolaBy using words, silly.
BugsI got trolled earlier and the things they said hit me in a weird way. And when I was trying to fuck you they were on my mind still and my dick just went limp.
BugsLike a spaghetti noodle.
LolaOh I understand it's ok. I'll just masturbate.
BugsThanks Lola.
LolaI love you.
BugsI love you too.
(Bugs and Lola kiss)
Page 4
(Cut to the next day. Bugs puts on some shoes)
BugsThanks Lola, I had a good time. I'm gonna go meet Daffy at the park.
LolaHave fun. See you later
(Bugs walk out of Lola's house)
BugsGonna see Daffy at the park! Gonna have fun together!
(Bugs stops)
BugsWhy am I so excited to see Daffy...
BugsWe're just friends, it's nothing weird.
(Flashback to when Bugs got trolled)
Butter TitsYour gay and a retard. And that's all I have to say.
BugsNo...He was just a dick...
BugsDick...
(Bugs starts thinking of a buff Daffy)
BugsWhat...Why am I thinking about dicks? That's weird..
MachickWhy is that retard talking to himself? Deeeeeeerrrrr!!!
OLet's go Troll that stupid guy.
Page 5
OI'm more concerned with his face, Look at those teeth. This guy is butt ugly. He looks like a butt, An ugly butt.
OHe's an ugly duckling butt. But he's not a duck, He's a rabbit. So it makes him an ugly rabbitling butt.
MachickI don't think that's a word.
OI'm pretty sure it is.
MachickNo it's not. Deeeeeeeeeerrrrr!!!!!!
OLet's go Troll that guy. It'd be good practice for the Troll off this saturday
MachickYeah! Derp derp. I'm a fish.
OIt's gulp gulp, Not derp derp. Fish don't make that sound.
MachickWhat the fuck are you talking about? They do make a derp derp sound!
ONo, They just make a derp derp face. You got the two confused again.
MachickOh yeah DEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!
BugsOh, I just realized I stopped walking.
BugsWhy have I been thinking about this so much lately?...
OHey you!! You ugly rabbitling motherfucker!!
BugsHuh?..
MachickIt.. It doesn't work. Just don't say that again. You goonfuck.
OLike a goonlagoon?
MachickWhat? In the fuck?
BugsWhat's up doc?
OWe just wanted to say...
OYOUR GAY!!!
(Bugs is shocked)
Page 6
MachickYou like that dick in your ass!! Deeeeeerrrr! You stupid.
(Bugs starts crying)
OThis is so funny!! He's crying!!! Googoo gaga!!! where's your binky noob?
MachickHahah! What a dumb bitch!! DEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!
MachickOw.. I think I hurt my neck...
ODo you like eating cum sandwiches? Cuz you sure as hell look like you enjoy eating cum sandwiches, Do you cum on your belly? In your tummy yummy?
BugsI don't eat cum sandwitches! I have a girlfriend.
OYour girlfriend probably has a lot of cum in her tummy.
MachickYeah beacause she fucks everyone.
OYeah, You didn't have to point that out.
MachickOh.. Okay?
MachickYeah haha, I bet she has a nice ass. Good for slapping and shitting.
OMmm..
OIt has to be good at shitting. Or it's a no go for me, Off limits.
MachickBut how can you be bad at shitting?
OThat's called constipation.
(Bugs id gone)
MachickHow long has he been gone?....
Page 7
(Cut to Daffy feeding some ducks. Bugs is running towards him)
DaffyWhat's wrong, Bugs?
BugsDaffy I need your help. These people keep on insulting me, calling me names and I can't stop them and I don't know what to do, they're so hateful to me and I don't know why?
DaffyBugs I can help you but I need you to do something first.
BugsWhat's that? Daffy
DaffyStop crying like a pussy. Ok them people are assholes, they way to get them back is to be more of an asshole back. Out do their dickyness with more dickyness.
DaffyNow snap into the badass I know you are.We have some trolls to fuck with.
BugsYou're right...
BugsI'll show them what real gay looks like. so they never get confused again.
DaffyWhat?
DaffyLet's go Bugs, lead me to them batsards..
(Bugs dresses up like a girl. Machick and O see him and they start blushing)
OWoah, who is that chick? Machick?
MachickI have no idea, but she's looking fly...
Page 8
(Daffy starts sweating)
BugsWhat's your hurry boys...?
BugsWould you two gentlemen join me at the public dance tomorrow?
ODance? What do you mean dance?
MachickI like dancing.
BugsI'm sure you fellas would like the reward I give you for doing me this one favor. My oh my I'm about to hyperventilate over the handsomeness I'm seeing staring at the both of you. My oh my.
OWell, garsh I am flattered..
Machick...Derrrrrrrrrr!!
(Bugs kisses Machick on the lips)
MachickHubba hubba..
DaffyDamn.
OWhat about me? I want a kiss.
(Bugs slaps O on the cheek)
BugsWhat kind of woman do you think I am? I'm no dumpster slut.
OOh, sorry to offend..
(Bugs slaps O on the other cheek)
OI'm sorry..
(Bugs slaps Machick on the cheek)
MachickOw, what was that for?
BugsYour breath tastes like Doodoo.
MachickOf course ir does. I eat poop for breakfast, dinner, lunch and supper.
(Bugs pukes. Daffy is laughing. Bugs takes of the hair and eyelashes)
BugsHah!! I'm actually a boy! You can't talk about me being gay cuz you're both gay as fuck!
(Machick and O are shocked)
Page 9
OHoly shit.
MachickHe just did that to us, man...
DaffyY'all bitch ass mother fucker are so gay that if I looked inside your heart all I'd see is a rainbow.
ODamn.
DaffyYou ride dick more than a prostitute!
MachickDamn. That's a lot of dick.
BugsNo!!! You eat cum sandwiches!
DaffyYou had your fun. It's my turn. I'm playing their game aginst them!
OI don't understand what's going on.
MachickIs it weird that I still have a boner?
OYes.
DaffyYou know what? You get more dicks than crabs. And I'm not talking about the ones you find on the beach!
OWoah....
DaffyYou're so stupid! That you couldn't change a lightbulb!! Even with help!
MachickDamn. He got you. Deeerr!!
ONo. That one was for you.
DaffyWhich one of you is the receiver? The one with the ugly face? ...Oh wait, you both have ugly faces.
DaffyBoooooommm...
Page 10
OWoah, they got us good. They're fucking good man, Like damn it was really good. Like fucking good man.
MachickThey put us in our place. Like that rabbit convinced me he was a woman and I actually got a boner.
OMe too, man! Like fucking good man.
MachickWe gotta start acting gay and fucking with people. That's brilliant.
BugsYou guys better remember this!! Don't mess with us pussycats!!
(Bugs slaps his own ass.)
OWoah man.
(Bugs and Daffy are now walking down a plath.)
BugsHahaha. We really showed them!
DaffyYeah! I like the part when you acted all gay and gave them boners..!
BugsYeah and when you said they couldn't change a lightbulb!
DaffyHahaha yeah! And whenever you said they had ugly faces! And was like boom!!
BugsThat was you, Doc.
DaffyBugs...Maybe we should keep doing this. We're actually really good at it.
BugsMmmm.
DaffyWanna go find more trolls?
BugsOkay Doc, let's go traumatize them.
(Bugs and Daffy walk to an allyway and find Cuphaed and Mugman playing checkers.)
BugsHey, have you seen a fat bald guy? He's friends with a tall stupid blonde guy. They're both trolls.
CupheadYeah, I've seen them. They started repating the same insults towards me and Mugman. They were kinda boring.
MugmanThey live in a cave east of here. They were so disrespectful.
BugsThanks, Doc.
(Bugs and Daffy finds the cave. Bugs, with the help of Daffy, dress up as a woman and walks to the cave entrance.)
BugsAny sexy guys in there?