Tails gets trolled Ultimate Alternate reality (Chapter 1)/Script

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  • Character count: ~15100
  • Character count (no spaces) ~12400
  • Character with most lines: Shadow (77)
  • Character(s) with least lines: Brandon, Kei-so (1)

Page 1


Butter Titshahahahah look at that noob. what a talentless looking fox

Tailswhats thats noise?

The Dick Takerhahahah

Tailswhos there?

Butter Titsyour gay and a retard. you look so stupid · your a noob and your such a retard that has no friends and your ugly. you should fix that ugly face of yours retard

Butter Titsyou mad.you mad.you look mad.you stupid bitch

The Dick Takeryes shes mad

(Tails is annoyed.)

TailsWhat? Fuck you fags

Butter Tits...

TailsYour trolling is in need of major improvements you guys suck Good bye

(Tails runs off with a smile on his face.)


Page 2

(Sonic is seen talking to Tails while Shadow knits.)

Tailssome faggots were trying to troll me

Shadowyeah some do that

TailsOne of them was really fat i think he weighed over 400 pounds

Shadowhow fat we talking? We talking about fat pig or we talking fat like hump back whale kind of fat?

(Tails smiles smugly.)

TailsIts about the weight of your mommas pussy

ShadowSo he is like 800 pounds then.

Soniche has been getting trolled . you know how it is. there calling tails gay and shit he cant take it

TailsIm taking it just fine. do i look like im crying like a bitch?

ShadowUh.. yeah sonic i know tails is getting trolled i just fucking heard him say it

Sonicthe way to stop a troll. is to become his friend. as his friend you can show him the right path

Shadowthat is bull shit.don't listen to him. that wont work

Sonichow would you deal with a troll shadow?

Shadowill show you

(Shadow puts his middle finger up.)

Shadowfuck you trolls

Page 3

Sonicthere is no need for any blood shed, this problem can be solved with out any villains

Tailshey man.. no one implied that we were gonna go beat them up or kill them

ShadowSonic what the fuck are you talking about

Sonicthem people that trolled tails are just misunderstood kids

TailsNo they are assholes

Shadowyeah thats true shit man

Sonictails come i will talk to these kids and stop this hate with kindness

TailsThey arent really important to me you don't have to do that. but you know, i kind of want to see you fail.

ShadowSonic thats not gonna work. tails you know what the fuck im talking about.

Tailsyeah i know what the fuck your talking about

Soniccome on tails lets get out of here

Shadowgo ahead leave you will find out the hard way

(Tails and Sonic leave.)

Shadowdumb ass will learn ,

Page 4

(A crying Toad appears in front of the Retard Double Threat.)

Butter TitsAre you okay? are you lost? do you need our help to help you find your parents?

Butter Titswhy are you so sad? is there anything we can do to help?

Tailssonic this is a waste of time

Sonichey what you guys said to my friend was really hateful and i would like if you said sorry

The Dick Takerbut he didnt really get bothered by what we said

Sonicim not gay i have a girl friend and i would like it if this conflict to end in peace

Butter Titsno one called you gay

Sonicyou must not know who i am. i have alot of talent and i have lots of friends.one of my friends is right beside me . and for what your saying isn't true,so i am not afended by your hateful comments

Butter Titsok im confused. are you mentally challenged? is that your whole gemic? no one said anything hateful towards you this is stupid

Sonicwhy don't we just be friends this is stupid

Butter TitsI just said stupid right then. you cant say stupid if i just said stupid it doesnt work like that. look im not trying to start anything. i just saw a edgy video and thought it would be cool

(Sonic suddenly gets mad.)

Butter TitsWhy are you looking at me like that?

Page 5

Sonicehhh...... im gonna ignore what you just said and ask you one more time. lets end this hate and become friends

Butter TitsI feel like you are about to get aggressive. i think you should leave we dont want any trouble and just so there is no bad blood. i appologize for what i said earlier. i wouldnt mind becoming friends this is pointless..

Sonictails lets get out of here

TailsWhy were we here in the first place?

Narroratorafter words

Knucklesim telling you man

Knuckleshey sonic your back . hows it going

SonicI'm so mad. im gonna have sex with my girl friend so i wont be so mad

Shadoweveryone has

Tailsyou was right shadow

Shadowi fucking knew it

Knuckleswhat are you guys talking about?

Shadownothing new. sonic is a fucking moron

Page 6

Knucklesoh tails you have nothing to worry. shadow is good at dealing with these trolls. I've seen it

Tailsyeah i know bro. this is not new territory for me

Shadowok listen closely

ShadowI feel like we should murder those trolls for no reason..

ShadowWhy? because they are trolls why not?

Tailsyes understood

Shadowalright lets go . tails lead me to them bastistards

Tailsgreat you can teach them who's boss


Page 7

Butter TitsHey do you see that? it looks like a group of sonic characters. coming at us

Butter TitsOh Hi! hows it going. Im butter tits. its nice to meet you whats your name?

Shadowhello dickheads so your the trolls i heard about

Butter Titshes more hostile then the last guy

Shadowhey it looks like you ate a little to much KFC fat fuck

Butter Titsum.. im very sensitive about my weight. please dont talk about it again. i get suicidal.

Shadowyou need to cut down on the McDonald's fatass

Tailsdamn hes baiting them right now..

KnucklesMasterbainting him. mumumumuerer..

TailsDo you want me to get you some food fat fuck?

(Tails puts his middle finger up.)

ShadowHungry Hungry Hippo!! Hungry Hungry Hippo!!

Tailsthat was a good one shadow

(Tails smiles. The background behind Butter Tits turns black.)

Butter Titsshut up.your a retarded noob that's stupid and ugly

(Tails smiles with a very large grin, exposing much of his teeth.)

Tailshahaha is that all you got bitch? is that all you got?

Page 8

ShadowAnd the cow says mooooooooooooooooo!!!

Butter Titsyour stupid.you don't know anything you dumb faggot

ShadowYou calling me faggot? Huh mother fucker!? You eat way to much food tubby.

(Shadow rushes in and punches Butter Tits in the face.)

Shadowwhat do you got to say now you stupid fucking troll

Shadowhey tails check out this ninja kick


(Shadow kicks forward, hitting nothing.)

Tailsshadow what are you doing?

Shadowthey cant troll you if there dead

(Shadow pulls out a knife.)

Page 9

TailsSo shadow how are you planning on killing greese tits? the suspense is killing me.

(Shadow holds a knife in the air. He holds his fist up clenched as if he is holding something when in reality he is not.)

ShadowPatience tails. All good things cum in time

TailsShadow why are you standing in that pose?

(Knuckles puts his hand, somewhat stained with shit, on Tails' shoulder.)

KnucklesYour really cool right now tails. Im proud of you

TailsThanks bro but i need you to get your fucking hand off my shoulder. it smells like fucking donkeykong shit

KnucklesDamn it man! i spend the last hour cleaning this hand and the smell still wont go away..

(Shadow slashes the air. Tails dons a large grin.)

TailsHes demonstrating what hes going to do to the tub of lard! hahahahahaha

Butter Tits....

Shadownow for the other one

Butter TitsIm really sorry i wont troll again i promise..

TailsShadow wait!!

ShadowWhat is it tails?

(Tails begins walking forward.)

Page 10

(Tails approaches Shadow with a stern expression on his face.)


(Tails slaps Shadow in the face with a mischievous expression.)

Shadowyour right tails. you should do it

TailsDont worry bro ill be sure to shoot him in the dick

(Tails pulls out a gun from his ass.)

Butter TitsOkay! Ill leave. you will never see me again. This trolling crap Im really not that into. i Just saw a video on youtube and thought it would be funny to fuck with people. Its not worth dying for Ill stop trolling for good. please dont kill me.

TailsBrace your self foo!

(Tails shoots Butter Tits in the breast.)

Butter Titsahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Tailsim gonna make sure no one milks does titties again

(Tails, smiling evilly, shoots Butter Tits in the other breast before shooting him in the crotch.)

TailsPunk bitch!

Page 11

Knucklesman it took along time burring that fat guy. its really late

Shadowyea remind us next time to not kill such a fat person

Tailsi'm going home ill see you guys later

Knucklesbye this was fun we should do this more often


TailsYeah that was awesome! i like that hes not alive anymore its hilarious

Knuckleshey shadow you wanna get high?

Shadowyou know i do

(Knuckles and Shadow clang shovels together.)

Knuckleshigh shovel

Shadowhigh shovel

Troll King (hidden)whats the problem?

Poritwo more of our trolls have gone missing. i think they might be dead sir.

Troll King (hidden)Thats really sad wakka. set up the funeral arrangements and notify their families and get them some flowers..

Troll King (hidden)no wait. get them a fruit basket..

Troll King (hidden)no wait. get them a car wakka wakka

Page 12


Sonictails wake up


Sonicyou knuckles and shadow went and beat up them trolls didn't you?

TailsYou still focused on them? they are old news bro i killed that fat fuck last night. hes extremely dead. i fucked that bitch up


TailsSonic did you hear me? I just told you i killed someone. bro you gotta get your head checked out something isnt working correctly


TailsYeah bro you should of seen it i was badass. i shot him in the titties and the dick

Sonicwell if shadow killed them in defense i guess its fine

TailsMother fucker i killed him and it wasnt self defense. Man you arent even listening to me. you just want a excuse to yell at shadow..

Page 13

Sonicill be right back. im gonna talk to shadow

TailsCalled it. damn man you are one predictible blue dick son of a bitch. Good luck man i hope he doesn't lay waste to you again.. good night bitch.

Narroratorback to knuckles


KnucklesYo monkey, that was pretty fucking good buttfucking. my butthole is pretty sore.

(Knuckles turns to Rouge, who has semen drooling from her mouth.)

KnucklesYo rouge, nice rimjob. i like what you did with that reach around. And that was good ass pussy, but your a little stale and you should take a shower..

(Donkey Kong happily hugs Knuckles.)

KnucklesVery good performances everyone, mostly.. Rouge was only good at rimjobs..

Narroratorback to shadow

(Pori steps on a leaf.)

Shadowsonic go away im trying to sleep. ill hear your bitching later

Porihey Im looking for a chubby bald guy in his early 20's have you seen him?

Shadowwho are you ?

Page 14

Porihe was with this blonde skinny guy who was wearing a pink shirt. i dont know him that well but Im pretty good friends with butter tits

Porithey both didn't answer my calls and I'm starting to get worried.

Shadowwait. are you talking about that fat troll that me and my homies murdered yesterday? yeah i aint hiding it bro we killed Mr. bitch tits.

PoriWhat!? you killed them!? you fucking psycopath! you dont just go and murder people like that! they have friends and family that love them!

ShadowWe shat on his dead body. so yes we killed him for no reason and i could kill you for no reason to

(Pori is angered. He unsheathes his sword as Shadow pulls up his gun. The two then hold their weapons at each other's faces.)

ShadowWhat is your plan exactly? you gonna cut my face a little bit before i shoot you in the head.

PoriYou monster!! you killed my friend! what am i suppose to tell his wife and son?

Shadowtell them that he went down like a bitch

PoriWhy!? what reason must you have to end his life? what the fuck is wrong with you?

PoriDo you have no soul? do you not realize what you've done? you ruined a family..

ShadowWhats his wifes number? Is she hot? I could give her dis dick? Would she want some of dis dick? also why was he living in a cave when he had a wife and child? that doesn't make any sense.


ShadowWho said that?

Mariowitch one of you helped toad!!!

Page 15

PoriWhat? what are you talking about? We can discuss this further when there's not a gun in my face..

ShadowWhen did you put your sword away?...


(Mario throws a fireball as Pori escapes. Shadow slaps the fireball away using his hand and then takes aim at Pori, shooting. Pori slashes the bullets away. Shadow then points his gun at Mario.)

Page 16

(Mario happily jumps over the bullets.)

ShadowImpressive jumping skills..

(Pori suddenly leaps forward.)


(Pori attempts to kick Shadow, but Shadow ducks. Pori brings down his sword, but Shadow escapes by spin dashing. Pori then hurls his sword at Shadow, slashing Shadow's face as he barely escapes. Shadow grins as he bleeds.)

Page 17

MarioMotha fucka you ain't shooting me. bitch ass nigga

(Mario suddenly reveals a TEC-9.)

Marioi got one too mother fucka!!

(Mario opens fire on Shadow, who spindashes away.)

Shadowyou missed you slow ass bitch.

Shadowshit that troll cut my cheek. I just realize this

(Mario Naruto runs in on Shadow's position and punches him in the face and gut. He then delivers an uppercut, knocking Shadow away with his gun flying out of his hand. Shadow stands and stares down Mario.)

ShadowThat all you got? Your momma hits harder than that.

Page 18

(Pori looks at Shadow and Mario.)

PoriNow is my moment to flee...

(Shadow suddenly teleports in front of a surprised Mario. Shadow then punches Mario and then kicks him upwards. Shadow then sticks two fingers up and shoves up Mario's nose, holding him up before he hurls Mario on the ground. Mario, now with a black eye, stands up. As he stands the camera moves to show both characters silhouettes in a dramatic fashion. Mario then stands face to face with Shadow.)

Page 19

(Mario shakes hands with Shadow.)

Mariogood fight nigga. You're pretty good!


MarioWait. that other guy is gone?

ShadowFuck it. I'll kill him later. and fuck his wife

Shadowyou don't even know what the hell is going on and just started throwing fireballs at me

Shadowfuck you fatty

Marioyou want to fuck me? I ain't no cheap ass...


ShadowI should fuck you up for attacking me like a crazy person. you don't even know who i am


ShadowI just murdered some trolls and i could urder you too so don't piss me off


Shadowwhatever... i'm gonna smoke a joint and fuck Amy in the pussy..

Marioi believe you . i'm gonna deal with these trolls my self .now ill be leaving now

ShadowI think i got to tell sonic that he is a bitch

Page 20

Shadowalright there's sonic . ehhh hear comes his bitching. Bleh blah bleh! morals bleh bleh bleh..

Sonicwhy did you kill them trolls there was no blood shed needed shadow. i said not to bring any villains in this

ShadowI fucked amy in the pussy..

Sonicyou should feel bad for what you did. it was wrong and i don't want to see/hear about this again

ShadowYou should of seen/heard about it sonic. It was nice i released my load on her face..

Tailsyeah, i fucked her too.. and i mean at the same time it was nice. he had the pussy and i had the butt hole. i feel like we both bonded as brothers..

(Shadow gives a thumbs up.)

ShadowMe too tails..

Tailsyeah i know..

Shadowyou can get her pussy next time.

Tailssounds good to me

Sonicdo not talk about my girl friend

(Pori, the Brothers from Another Mother Gang, and Brandon, based off of someone we used to know and was mentioned in our old Micah Rat project appear.)

PoriYour under arrest for murdering our friends!

Brandon, based off of someone we used to know and was mentioned in our old Micah Rat projectCome quietly.. we don't want to hurt you but we will if we must.

Page 21

Tokesorry about this but I'm taking you down town

(Toke runs at Sonic and his group.)

Sonici have a girl friend

(Sonic grabs Toke's leg.)

Sonictails go get knuckles

Tailswhy? we can handle them without him...

Sonicgo get knuckles

Tailsno YOU go get him. I'm staying

(Sonic's eyes begin to get bloodshot as his face distorts into a worried expression.)

Sonicgo get knuckles please......

(Tails makes a serious face.)

Tailshow about no.....

Tokecan you let go of my leg blue guy? this is weird

(Shadow and Tails smile smugly as they pull out a pistol and shotgun respectively.)

TailsWhy would you attack us barehanded when were carrying guns? you trolls didn't think this through

Page 22

Kei-sothis is for justice!

(Shadow nonchalantly blasts Kei-so in the face, killing him in a bloody explosion.)


(Sonic panics.)

Sonicshadow i told you not to bring any villains in this!!

Shadowand i told you that i fucked amy

Sonicshut up shadow!!

Shadowwhy the fuck would i listen to you?

Tailshe makes a damn good point sonic

Sonicshut up tails!

Tailsfuck you bro

(Tails takes aim at Brandon and blasts his head off in a gory mess. Veins then appear all over Sonic as he begins to rage.)

Sonicstop using villains!!

Page 23

(Cut to Knuckles speaking to Rouge)

Knucklesdon't call me later.. i gotta go and get myself tested for a STD.. i don't know why i went bareback while having sex with you. i know you have a dirty waffle...

Donkey Kongshe does? i guess i gotta get myself checked out too. damn candy is gonna be pissed...

KnucklesYou gonna tell her about the herpies?

Donkey Kongfuck nah man. if i tell a bitch I'm dirty than she ain't gonna fuck me.

Knucklesheheh true dat, true dat

Donkey Kongit burns when i pee let's hurry to the hospital..

(Cut back to Sonic, crying)

Sonicstop killing people shadow!!

Poriwere hurting others? you people are crazy! your friend killed more than one of us

Sonici was talking to shadow random guy..

Sonici am very sorry about the villains..

Poriyeah! we wanted to deal with this peaceful but this trigger happy asshole murdered our friends

Page 24

Tailsand your point is?

Sonicdo not talk about my girl friend

Shadowthat's was earlier sonic. pay attention dipshit..

Sonici have a girl friend

Porithat's great and all but that has nothing to do with this

Poriwow what the fuck is wrong with these people?

Poriwhy am i still here?

Porithis is what i was talking about.

ShadowHahaha oh my god sonic. you need to get your head checked out...

(Sonic transforms into Dark Sonic)

TailsI didn't know he could do that...

Page 25

(Dark Sonic kicks the air)

Shadowdude i think we broke him

Tailsyou literally was kicking the air like a crazy person yesterday shadow

(Dark Sonic punches the air)

Tailswhy did you do that?!...

Shadowdaaaammmnnn this mother fucker punched that air good..

(Dark Sonic falls to his knees and holds his fists near his face.)

Sonicshit i failed

Tailsfails at functioning properly

Page 26

(Dark Sonic is now back to Sonic and he walks to Tails)


Shadowsonic there are no words to describe you. just wow what in the fuck was that dude. derpy slerpy man. derpy slerpy...

Sonicfuck you shadow. now why don't you tell me why them trolls came after us?

(Shadow is thinking about Butter Tits and Dick Taker)

Shadowbecause i murdered them. that's why they came after us. i thought that was self explanatory.

(Now Shadow is thinking of Sonic crying with an arrow pointing at him saying "RETARD")

Shadowby the sound of it your retarded also eat shit.

Tailswait a second did anyone notice the sword troll is gone?

Shadowoh well no biggie...

Sonicno im not gonna be drawn into your little troll fight your having shadow

Tailsnot much of a fight man.

(Sonic leaves)

Sonicleave me out of this

Shadowcome on tails let's get the fuck out of here

(Tails gives Sonic the bird with his 'really' long arm)

Sonici'm not getting involved shadow stop the villains

Tailsi didn't ask you to get involved.. you can get the fuck out of here sonic..

Page 27

(Cut to Silver who is where his huddy and smoking a cigarette forwads)

Silverahhhh everything is awful today nothing can make me feel better...

(Alex appears)

Alexhey your awfully lonely. are you feeling alright or something?

AlexI could only imagine how it must be for you having friends and a life. obviously you are loved. i mean just by looking at you i can tell that your parents really wanted to have you before you was old to even speak. must be great being you

Silverim sorry who are you ?

Alexi bet time after time people wish they were you.someone with great friends and a life. it is truly great that pieces of gold like you are born into this world with a meaning

Silveryou dont know me

Alexyour right i don't but i wish i did. i bet ladies flock to you. i know i would. i bet your parents are prond of you

AlexYou want to smoke a cigerette with me and hang out some time? here take my number

Alexgood luck with having a meaningful existence with so many things that can make you feel better. i hope we can become homies..

(Silver is happy)


Page 28

(A Goomba is seen in tears.)

PussySlayer9000Hey Goomba you should come to our church and learn about the way of jesus christ..

PussySlayer9000We have food and drinks and if you want to dance you can do that to. it's pretty fun having jesus in your heart. do you believe in the hold spirit?

Austinlet jesus into your heart goomba. just let him in. you won't regret it you ball sack looking mother fucker.

PussySlayer9000why are you crying?

(Mario and Luigi appear.)

PussySlayer9000Invite your friends and family. please spread the word we're trying to help whom ever we can.

(Luigi jumps on PussySlayer9000 as Mario leaps past. PussySlayer9000 is knocked to the ground, and Luigi stumbles while on top of him, fallilng backwards.)

Luigiahhh that didn't work out..

Mariowhat were you trying to do luigi?

Luigicrush his skull mario

Page 29

Mariothat's not possible bitch nigga

Luigioh well this is awkawrd...

Austinhey you want to come to our church? we have sermons every Sunday and Wednesday.

(Mario hammers Austin on the head but bounces back. The tip of his hammer flies off as Austin survives.)

Austinfuck! why did you do that for?

Marioit didn't work brother..

PussySlayer9000what's your problem?

Luigiwhat do we do now mario? we failed...

Marioabort mission!

(Mario and Luigi flee while Austin and PussySlayer9000 look at them in shock. The Goomba contines to cry.)