UAR chapter 2: trolls get attacked/Script

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This article references details from an ongoing chapter. Details are subject to change and / or may be barebones as a result.

Previous: Tails gets trolled Ultimate Alternate reality (Chapter 1)/Script

Page 1

Narroratorback to tails

(Cut to Tails holding a knife)


Tailswhats that sound?

Alexbecause of your cute face

Alexi would look on the bright side if i were you... don't let your physicque get the best of you

Tailshey faggots!

(Tails give Alex the bird)

Tailsfuck you


(Alex starts crying)

Page 2

Kirbyhey man not cool!!

(Tails is giving the bird)

Tailsshut up you fat fucking pink bitch

Alexd-didn't anyone tell you that words can hurt?

Tailsno because only pussies say that shit. words can't actually hurt someone

Tailsbut do you know what CAN hurt?


(Tails pulls out a gun a shoots Alex multiple times in the chest)


Page 3

(Kirby watches the bloodshed.)

KirbyFuck this shit!! i'm not dying like him.

(Kirby escapes.)


(Tails shoots Alex in the face)

Tailsahhhh i need a smoke

(Tails picks up a used cigarette and smokes it)

(Cut to Shadow, sleeping. Silver steps on a leaf)

ShadowHmmmm how many people are gonna step on that leaf? Who ever it is come back later I hven't had any sleep

SilverHey Shadow you're one ugly son of a bitch

Page 4

ShadowI was trying to sleep. What do you want? Can't this wait until tomorrow?

SilverNo it can't! This Troll was complimenting me and he was too positive and i didn't like any of it. You know me Shadow. I'm not into that hallmart channel shit.

ShadowI think i know which Troll you're talking about. Yeah they are too nice man. Just makes me wanna pop a cap in their ass. Drive by a motha fucka. You understand.

SilverWas that a yes?

ShadowI'm gonna call some friends to help us fuck them up.


(Cut to Bowser’s castle)

Tooth D. CayHello, lord goomba, can you tell lord bowser that we are here to see him, me and my companion are both Jehovah Witnesses, we have witnessed a lot. Right jehova?

Concave Headed Mother Fuckerthat's not my name

GoombaLord bowser, they are here again! It's the Jehovah witnesses.

(The Goomba begins to sweat.)

Goomba (Thinking)No one has ever called me a lord. Oooo i like the sound of that.

BowserCome again!?

Goomba (Of screem)JEHOVAH WITNESSES!!



(Bowser leaves)

Page 5

Goombahe will be with you in just a moment..

Narrorator4 HOURS LATER

Tooth D. CayIs Lord Bowser coming? Not to sound impatient or rude but where the fuck is he?

(The Goomba watches something on his phone.) Huh? Did you say something?

(The Goomba nervously turns around, covering a part of his phone screen obscuring a muscular waifu.)

GoombaYou're still here? Can you not get a hint? He's not coming, He bailed. He's probably fucking princess peaches as we speak..

KoopaIt's true. I was watching it

Tooth D. CayDang that burns! We came here to force freed our beliefs down this turtles throat and he unjustly bails on us. Leaving us to wait 4 hours...

Tooth D. Cayit stings so much I feel like he just set me on fire...

Concave Headed Mother FuckerLet's get out of here. Maybe we'll have better luck with King k room or Eggman?

(Cut back to Silver and Shadow)

SilverShadow, these people look dumb.

ShadowThey can handle trolls. They want to help us destroy them for no reason

SilverThat's not true. You're doing it because it's fun, That's the reason.

ShaggyZoints. So like, we'll be like, you know, like...

Page 6

ShadowWhat did you say? What!?

Scooby DooRhaggy is excited. Hehehehhehe..

SilverDude that's a talking dog, what the fuck.

ShadowNot a huge shocker considerin→
→g most of us here are talking animals.

SilverYeah but it's different with him.

BugsWhy's that?

→s he's a dog.

ShaggyYou got something against dogs man? Sorry for my like, messed up dialog. I just ate a shit ton of special Scooby snacks. They're amazing. I'm so high...

Scooby DooAnd you didn't share?

MarioWell, we found some of the best Troll fighters we could find..

Page 7

Shadowhold up. We're not done talking about the weed snacks.

ShadowHey! Dog and Hippy, I want some.

(Shaggy gives Shadow some weed while smoking a fat blunt)

ShaggyOkay. We got a whole shit ton of boxes of them man. We got weed too. Wait, weed treats are weed.. like dude..

Scooby DooI think you smoked too much Rhaggy..

MarioAnyway s we got some of the best [...]

ShadowShut the fuck up about that shit Mario! I don't care.

MarioWell, we got some of the best Troll slayers we could find. They are really good at what they do nigga

LuigiYes they have their own way of dealing with the trolls. Also I want some too.

TeemoI've learned from being on league of legends for so long that if you go to the right area in your menu you can mute the chat and stop hearing the trolls.

BugsMe and Daffy, and my girlfriend Lola dealt with the trolls by giving them a fake treasure map to make them leave. Trolls can't resist treasure.

DaffyWe also pissed in their coffee. A nice scrumptious and delectavle drink for those self righteous buttfuckers.

Scooby DooRe and Rhaggy would dress up like a girl and fuck with those freaks by kissing them I don't like doing it but it works.

Page 8

ShaggyYeah man, like we are pretty sexy while we do it.

(Tails is walking with Amy)

Tailssup bitches

AmyDid someone say sex? Where? When? Count me in!!!

TailsAmy is pregnant. Who do you think the baby daddy is?

ShadowThere's no way of knowing who the baby daddy is. Me, you, knuckles, Sonic, vector, espio.

SilverDon't forget about me, metal Sonic, big the cat, charmy bee, fang, ray the flying squirrel, brak the polar bear, mephiles and many more..

TailsOr will it be out hybrid baby bro?

ShadowDude that would be fucking awesome.

AmyGive me my Crack!

ShadowI don't give a shit. I have a group to name and now I gotta give everyone group names. Let me think bitch.

Page 9

The Awesome!

The Gangsta!

The Crack Whore!

The Rabbit!

The Fatass!

The Rodent!

The Roast Duck!

The Hippy!

The Creeper!

The Dog!

and that guy

together we make
the troll slayers

SilverThat guy? Really Shadow? I helped you bury a body and you're gonna do me dirty like this? You disrespect me and my honor bro.

ShadowSilver, no one likes you. Get fucked.

the money guy

SilverI'm the money guy.

TailsYou would have to have money to be considered the money guy.

SilverNo one else has a problam with these names?

LuigiThey're just names, don't be such a sissy.

Koopa MangSorry I'm late. But No one told me where we were meeting up.. so here I am. What did I miss?

ShaggyWho's that?

SilverI think he came to become a Troll fighter.

Page 10

ShadowOk back to what I was talking about. Damn it! I lost my train of thought.

AmyI want my crack

ShaggyWe need a group name...

ShadowTroll slayers..

AmyI want some Crack very badly.

TailsShut the fuck up bitch!!

ShaggyWe should add an I in Troll slayers. It would be rad.

TailsNo, we're not doing that.

DaffyWe need a base.

ShadowSounds like a good idea.

MarioWe could stay at peach's castle.

BugsI've never been to a castle before Doc. Are they like the fairytales?

Page 11

(Cut to Tails talking a walk)


(Sonic runs over to Tails and hugs him)

Sonici got you buddy

Sonicsorry tails if this looks gay to the viewers

(Tails kicks Sonic in the crouch and Sonic falls over)

TailsDon't hug me bro.


(Tails starts pissing on Sonic's face)

SonicStop pissing on me..

TailsSorry bro you just have such a pissible face that I couldn't resist myself.

SonicEven so, stop!! No Villians Tails!

(Tails runs away and gives Sonic the bird)

TailsFuck you..

(Sonic is pissed)

Page 12

(Cut to the inside of Peach's castle)

TeemoWhere's Koopa mang?

PeachHe's not allowed. Don't ask me why. He's just not.

(Peach smokes some weed(?))

ShadowDamn this bitch is hot.

ShadowOk guys you see this paper? Well I drew a dick on it.

MarioCan you put that on a coaster?

ShadowFuck you I can do what the fuck I like.

(Shadow knocks over the glass of orange juice(?))


ShadowFuck you tubby. You need to cut down on the Mc chicken.

(Mario starts crying)

Page 13

MarioYou're right!! Ahhhhhhhhhh..

PeachYou got balls. I like that.

MarioWhat the fuck bitch?

PeachWe're done Mario. If found out about you and daisy.

LuigiYou were fucking daisy?

(Mario starts sweating)


PeachI told you not to do that.. later I will fuck you with a strap on for doing this.

MarioNo, not the strap on again.

TailsWait, you're her bitch? That's hilarious.

PeachI can make anyone my bitch. Including you.

TailsPrepare to be disappointed. I'm nobody's bitch.

ShadowHe's right. He's unbichable.

PeachWe'll talk about that later. Now it's time to talk about strategy.

Page 14

TeemoDude, she's a badass.


Silver (Thinking)What the fuck am I here again?

MarioYou have no idea. She always beats me and Luigi's asses. One time she made me step on a nail for fucking Rosalina and Luma.

LuigiWait, did you just say Rosalina and Luma? You fucked the star too?

MarioLet's not talk about this now.

AmyYou people are fucking weird.

TailsDon't be rude.

BugsCan we not derail every couple minutes?

DaffySeriously, obviously the princess is hot. So what? There's a lot of hot people out there. get over it.

Luigiwe need a plan

MarioNo we don't. The trolls are harmless.

Page 15

ShadowGuys we need to blow them up. But how and where do we do it?

DaffyI was thinking of pouring hot acid on them or throwing them into a volcano but that works.

ShaggyWait, are we actually talking about killing these people? When you said you wanted to kill the trolls I thought metaphorically. Like you kill them emotionally and mentally.

TeemoWait, you said blow them up? Are you seriously suggesting that we become terrorists and kill a bunch of innocent people for no reason at all.


ShaggyLike, Why are we doing this? This is some super Villain kind of shit.

Scooby DooRhaggy is right, can't we just do something a lot less harsh. Like put them in a trap and leave them there for a while. Me and Rhaggy do it all the time.

ShaggyThat way nobody dies..

SonicYes! No Villians!!

TeemoYou Creepy fucker! You scared the shit out of me.

SilverA couple seconds ago he wasn't here.

KoopsHow the fuck did he get in?

SonicNo villains.

Page 16

TailsAlright dude. I got your back.

SonicNo more bloodshed. I'm fucking serious! Fucking stop this hate with peace and kindness.

(Tails and Shadow grab Sonic)

SonicWhat are you guys doing? Let me go.

ShadowThis is someone else's crib and you came uninvited. And you didn't even knock on the door before barging in.. now you gotta get the fuck out of here you dumbass.

BugsDoc, are you sure throwing him out the window is a good idea? We're really high off the ground. He could break his bones or die.

DaffyShut it bugs, he'll be fine. He has a magic hat with wings that will make him fly.

MarioI'm the one with that hat not him.

DaffyWhatever. Toss him. He'll find a way to survive and if not? we'll have hedgehog for lunch. It's a win-win scenario.

(Tails and Shadow toss Sonic out of the window. Sonic lands in the water)

Page 17

(Sonic gets out of the water)

SonicFuck you guys! I could have died!

(Cut back to the inside of the castle)

Silver (Thinking)What the fuck am I doing here again? I don't like these people.

LuigiI got it there are only a couple things the trolls couldn't afford to miss we stage a fake Justine bever concert

Page 18

(Now it’s dark)

Tails (hidden)Bro, we're going to slaughter these pussy troll fuckers bro. It's going to be sick.

BugsWhy is it so dark in here? Turn on the lights. I can't see a damn thing in here Doc. .

DaffyI like the trap we have planned for these pansies.

MarioWhat should we do if they see through the lie and come packing some heavy firepower? Yes they are weak but even weak bitches get fierce when other punk bitches start dying.

LuigiWe don't have to worry about them. Mario, We can literally set them on fire, with our fire powers.

TailsThis will be a piece of cake guys. Relax. Smok
e some more weed.

Shadow (hidden)We also have a hostage and they won't think to try anything when they find that out.

ShadowBring him in.

(Grapeface appears, injured)

GrapefacePlease don't kill me. All I want to do is build a Vagina Plant Utopia.

Page 19

Shadowthanks again for paying for the stage and all of it. i can't thank you enough

Cocoa Puffs BirdI got you what you wanted now give me what you promised.

(Shadow gives Cocoa Puffs Bird a bag of Cocoa Puffs. Cocoa Puffs Bird churches the Cocoa Puffs and then snorts it)

SilverWhy the fuck am I here again? I know I keep asking myself this but still. Why?

ShaggyLike, are you sure about this man? It's getting me off vibes.. You kidnapped someone. Do you know what laws you're breaking? And were your accomplices by association. Do you understand that you're fucking all of us!

LuigiWhat's wrong tooth pick? Don't like getting fucked hard random style?

ShaggyI think you're taking this way too lightly. Like, what the fuck.

Scooby DooRhere's the weed smoking?

ShaggyScoobs, you're smoking a bong right now mam.

Scooby DooWoah..