UAR chapter 2: trolls get attacked/Script

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This article references details from an ongoing chapter. Details are subject to change and / or may be barebones as a result.

Previous: Tails gets trolled Ultimate Alternate reality (Chapter 1)/Script

Page 1

NarroratorScript.pngNarroratorback to tails

(Cut to Tails holding a knife)


UARTailsScript.pngTailswhats that sound?

UARAlexScript.pngAlexbecause of your cute face

UARAlexScript.pngAlexi would look on the bright side if i were you... don't let your physicque get the best of you

UARTailsScript.pngTailshey faggots!

(Tails give Alex the bird)

UARTailsScript.pngTailsfuck you


(Alex starts crying)

Page 2

KirbyScript.pngKirbyhey man not cool!!

(Tails is giving the bird)

UARTailsScript.pngTailsshut up you fat fucking pink bitch

UARAlexScript.pngAlexd-didn't anyone tell you that words can hurt?

UARTailsScript.pngTailsno because only pussies say that shit. words can't actually hurt someone

UARTailsScript.pngTailsbut do you know what CAN hurt?


(Tails pulls out a gun a shoots Alex multiple times in the chest)


Page 3

(Kirby watches the bloodshed.)

KirbyScript.pngKirbyFuck this shit!! i'm not dying like him.

(Kirby escapes.)


(Tails shoots Alex in the face)

UARTailsScript.pngTailsahhhh i need a smoke

(Tails picks up a used cigarette and smokes it)

(Cut to Shadow, sleeping. Silver steps on a leaf)

ShadowScript.pngShadowHmmmm how many people are gonna step on that leaf? Who ever it is come back later I hven't had any sleep

SilverScript.pngSilverHey Shadow you're one ugly son of a bitch

Page 4

ShadowScript.pngShadowI was trying to sleep. What do you want? Can't this wait until tomorrow?

SilverScript.pngSilverNo it can't! This Troll was complimenting me and he was too positive and i didn't like any of it. You know me Shadow. I'm not into that hallmart channel shit.

ShadowScript.pngShadowI think i know which Troll you're talking about. Yeah they are too nice man. Just makes me wanna pop a cap in their ass. Drive by a motha fucka. You understand.

SilverScript.pngSilverWas that a yes?

ShadowScript.pngShadowI'm gonna call some friends to help us fuck them up.


(Cut to Bowser’s castle)

PurplePooScript.pngTooth D. CayHello, lord goomba, can you tell lord bowser that we are here to see him, me and my companion are both Jehovah Witnesses, we have witnessed a lot. Right jehova?

BaldPooScript.pngConcave Headed Mother Fuckerthat's not my name

GoombaScript.pngGoombaLord bowser, they are here again! It's the Jehovah witnesses.

(The Goomba begins to sweat.)

GoombaScript.pngGoomba (Thinking)No one has ever called me a lord. Oooo i like the sound of that.

BowserScript.pngBowserCome again!?

GoombaScript.pngGoomba (Of screem)JEHOVAH WITNESSES!!


BowserScript.pngBowserJUST A MINUTE!!

(Bowser leaves)

Page 5

GoombaScript.pngGoombahe will be with you in just a moment..

NarroratorScript.pngNarrorator4 HOURS LATER

PurplePooScript.pngTooth D. CayIs Lord Bowser coming? Not to sound impatient or rude but where the fuck is he?

(The Goomba watches something on his phone.) Huh? Did you say something?

(The Goomba nervously turns around, covering a part of his phone screen obscuring a muscular waifu.)

GoombaScript.pngGoombaYou're still here? Can you not get a hint? He's not coming, He bailed. He's probably fucking princess peaches as we speak..

KoopaScript.pngKoopaIt's true. I was watching it

PurplePooScript.pngTooth D. CayDang that burns! We came here to force freed our beliefs down this turtles throat and he unjustly bails on us. Leaving us to wait 4 hours...

PurplePooScript.pngTooth D. Cayit stings so much I feel like he just set me on fire...

BaldPooScript.pngConcave Headed Mother FuckerLet's get out of here. Maybe we'll have better luck with King k room or Eggman?

(Cut back to Silver and Shadow)

SilverScript.pngSilverShadow, these people look dumb.

ShadowScript.pngShadowThey can handle trolls. They want to help us destroy them for no reason

SilverScript.pngSilverThat's not true. You're doing it because it's fun, That's the reason.

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyZoints. So like, we'll be like, you know, like...

Page 6

ShadowScript.pngShadowWhat did you say? What!?

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooRhaggy is excited. Hehehehhehe..

SilverScript.pngSilverDude that's a talking dog, what the fuck.

ShadowScript.pngShadowNot a huge shocker considerin→
→g most of us here are talking animals.

SilverScript.pngSilverYeah but it's different with him.

BugsScript.pngBugsWhy's that?

→s he's a dog.

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyYou got something against dogs man? Sorry for my like, messed up dialog. I just ate a shit ton of special Scooby snacks. They're amazing. I'm so high...

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooAnd you didn't share?

MarioScript.pngMarioWell, we found some of the best Troll fighters we could find..

Page 7

ShadowScript.pngShadowhold up. We're not done talking about the weed snacks.

ShadowScript.pngShadowHey! Dog and Hippy, I want some.

(Shaggy gives Shadow some weed while smoking a fat blunt)

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyOkay. We got a whole shit ton of boxes of them man. We got weed too. Wait, weed treats are weed.. like dude..

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooI think you smoked too much Rhaggy..

MarioScript.pngMarioAnyway s we got some of the best [...]

ShadowScript.pngShadowShut the fuck up about that shit Mario! I don't care.

MarioScript.pngMarioWell, we got some of the best Troll slayers we could find. They are really good at what they do nigga

LuigiScript.pngLuigiYes they have their own way of dealing with the trolls. Also I want some too.

TeemoScript.pngTeemoI've learned from being on league of legends for so long that if you go to the right area in your menu you can mute the chat and stop hearing the trolls.

BugsScript.pngBugsMe and Daffy, and my girlfriend Lola dealt with the trolls by giving them a fake treasure map to make them leave. Trolls can't resist treasure.

DaffyScript.pngDaffyWe also pissed in their coffee. A nice scrumptious and delectavle drink for those self righteous buttfuckers.

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooRe and Rhaggy would dress up like a girl and fuck with those freaks by kissing them I don't like doing it but it works.

Page 8

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyYeah man, like we are pretty sexy while we do it.

(Tails is walking with Amy)

UARTailsScript.pngTailssup bitches

UARAmyScript.pngAmyDid someone say sex? Where? When? Count me in!!!

UARTailsScript.pngTailsAmy is pregnant. Who do you think the baby daddy is?

ShadowScript.pngShadowThere's no way of knowing who the baby daddy is. Me, you, knuckles, Sonic, vector, espio.

SilverScript.pngSilverDon't forget about me, metal Sonic, big the cat, charmy bee, fang, ray the flying squirrel, brak the polar bear, mephiles and many more..

UARTailsScript.pngTailsOr will it be out hybrid baby bro?

ShadowScript.pngShadowDude that would be fucking awesome.

UARAmyScript.pngAmyGive me my Crack!

ShadowScript.pngShadowI don't give a shit. I have a group to name and now I gotta give everyone group names. Let me think bitch.

Page 9

ShadowScript.pngThe Awesome!

UARTailsScript.pngThe Gangsta!

UARAmyScript.pngThe Crack Whore!

BugsScript.pngThe Rabbit!

MarioScript.pngThe Fatass!

TeemoScript.pngThe Rodent!

DaffyScript.pngThe Roast Duck!

ShaggyScript.pngThe Hippy!

LuigiScript.pngThe Creeper!

ScoobyDooScript.pngThe Dog!

SilverScript.pngand that guy

Blank200x200.pngtogether we make
the troll slayers

SilverScript.pngSilverThat guy? Really Shadow? I helped you bury a body and you're gonna do me dirty like this? You disrespect me and my honor bro.

ShadowScript.pngShadowSilver, no one likes you. Get fucked.

SilverScript.pngthe money guy

SilverScript.pngSilverI'm the money guy.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsYou would have to have money to be considered the money guy.

SilverScript.pngSilverNo one else has a problam with these names?

LuigiScript.pngLuigiThey're just names, don't be such a sissy.

KoopaMangScript.pngKoopa MangSorry I'm late. But No one told me where we were meeting up.. so here I am. What did I miss?

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyWho's that?

SilverScript.pngSilverI think he came to become a Troll fighter.

Page 10

ShadowScript.pngShadowOk back to what I was talking about. Damn it! I lost my train of thought.

UARAmyScript.pngAmyI want my crack

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyWe need a group name...

ShadowScript.pngShadowTroll slayers..

UARAmyScript.pngAmyI want some Crack very badly.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsShut the fuck up bitch!!

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyWe should add an I in Troll slayers. It would be rad.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsNo, we're not doing that.

DaffyScript.pngDaffyWe need a base.

ShadowScript.pngShadowSounds like a good idea.

MarioScript.pngMarioWe could stay at peach's castle.

BugsScript.pngBugsI've never been to a castle before Doc. Are they like the fairytales?

Page 11

(Cut to Tails talking a walk)


(Sonic runs over to Tails and hugs him)

SonicScript.pngSonici got you buddy

SonicScript.pngSonicsorry tails if this looks gay to the viewers

(Tails kicks Sonic in the crouch and Sonic falls over)

UARTailsScript.pngTailsDon't hug me bro.


(Tails starts pissing on Sonic's face)

SonicScript.pngSonicStop pissing on me..

UARTailsScript.pngTailsSorry bro you just have such a pissible face that I couldn't resist myself.

SonicScript.pngSonicEven so, stop!! No Villians Tails!

(Tails runs away and gives Sonic the bird)

UARTailsScript.pngTailsFuck you..

(Sonic is pissed)

Page 12

(Cut to the inside of Peach's castle)

TeemoScript.pngTeemoWhere's Koopa mang?

UARPeachScript.pngPeachHe's not allowed. Don't ask me why. He's just not.

(Peach smokes some weed(?))

ShadowScript.pngShadowDamn this bitch is hot.

ShadowScript.pngShadowOk guys you see this paper? Well I drew a dick on it.

MarioScript.pngMarioCan you put that on a coaster?

ShadowScript.pngShadowFuck you I can do what the fuck I like.

(Shadow knocks over the glass of orange juice(?))


ShadowScript.pngShadowFuck you tubby. You need to cut down on the Mc chicken.

(Mario starts crying)

Page 13

MarioScript.pngMarioYou're right!! Ahhhhhhhhhh..

UARPeachScript.pngPeachYou got balls. I like that.

MarioScript.pngMarioWhat the fuck bitch?

UARPeachScript.pngPeachWe're done Mario. If found out about you and daisy.

LuigiScript.pngLuigiYou were fucking daisy?

(Mario starts sweating)


UARPeachScript.pngPeachI told you not to do that.. later I will fuck you with a strap on for doing this.

MarioScript.pngMarioNo, not the strap on again.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsWait, you're her bitch? That's hilarious.

UARPeachScript.pngPeachI can make anyone my bitch. Including you.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsPrepare to be disappointed. I'm nobody's bitch.

ShadowScript.pngShadowHe's right. He's unbichable.

UARPeachScript.pngPeachWe'll talk about that later. Now it's time to talk about strategy.

Page 14

TeemoScript.pngTeemoDude, she's a badass.


SilverScript.pngSilver (Thinking)What the fuck am I here again?

MarioScript.pngMarioYou have no idea. She always beats me and Luigi's asses. One time she made me step on a nail for fucking Rosalina and Luma.

LuigiScript.pngLuigiWait, did you just say Rosalina and Luma? You fucked the star too?

MarioScript.pngMarioLet's not talk about this now.

UARAmyScript.pngAmyYou people are fucking weird.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsDon't be rude.

BugsScript.pngBugsCan we not derail every couple minutes?

DaffyScript.pngDaffySeriously, obviously the princess is hot. So what? There's a lot of hot people out there. get over it.

LuigiScript.pngLuigiwe need a plan

MarioScript.pngMarioNo we don't. The trolls are harmless.

Page 15

ShadowScript.pngShadowGuys we need to blow them up. But how and where do we do it?

DaffyScript.pngDaffyI was thinking of pouring hot acid on them or throwing them into a volcano but that works.

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyWait, are we actually talking about killing these people? When you said you wanted to kill the trolls I thought metaphorically. Like you kill them emotionally and mentally.

TeemoScript.pngTeemoWait, you said blow them up? Are you seriously suggesting that we become terrorists and kill a bunch of innocent people for no reason at all.


ShaggyScript.pngShaggyLike, Why are we doing this? This is some super Villain kind of shit.

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooRhaggy is right, can't we just do something a lot less harsh. Like put them in a trap and leave them there for a while. Me and Rhaggy do it all the time.

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyThat way nobody dies..

SonicScript.pngSonicYes! No Villians!!

TeemoScript.pngTeemoYou Creepy fucker! You scared the shit out of me.

SilverScript.pngSilverA couple seconds ago he wasn't here.

KoopsScript.pngKoopsHow the fuck did he get in?

SonicScript.pngSonicNo villains.

Page 16

UARTailsScript.pngTailsAlright dude. I got your back.

SonicScript.pngSonicNo more bloodshed. I'm fucking serious! Fucking stop this hate with peace and kindness.

(Tails and Shadow grab Sonic)

SonicScript.pngSonicWhat are you guys doing? Let me go.

ShadowScript.pngShadowThis is someone else's crib and you came uninvited. And you didn't even knock on the door before barging in.. now you gotta get the fuck out of here you dumbass.

BugsScript.pngBugsDoc, are you sure throwing him out the window is a good idea? We're really high off the ground. He could break his bones or die.

DaffyScript.pngDaffyShut it bugs, he'll be fine. He has a magic hat with wings that will make him fly.

MarioScript.pngMarioI'm the one with that hat not him.

DaffyScript.pngDaffyWhatever. Toss him. He'll find a way to survive and if not? we'll have hedgehog for lunch. It's a win-win scenario.

(Tails and Shadow toss Sonic out of the window. Sonic lands in the water)

Page 17

(Sonic gets out of the water)

SonicScript.pngSonicFuck you guys! I could have died!

(Cut back to the inside of the castle)

SilverScript.pngSilver (Thinking)What the fuck am I doing here again? I don't like these people.

LuigiScript.pngLuigiI got it there are only a couple things the trolls couldn't afford to miss we stage a fake Justine bever concert

Page 18

(Now it’s dark)

UARTailsScript.pngTails (hidden)Bro, we're going to slaughter these pussy troll fuckers bro. It's going to be sick.

BugsScript.pngBugsWhy is it so dark in here? Turn on the lights. I can't see a damn thing in here Doc. .

DaffyScript.pngDaffyI like the trap we have planned for these pansies.

MarioScript.pngMarioWhat should we do if they see through the lie and come packing some heavy firepower? Yes they are weak but even weak bitches get fierce when other punk bitches start dying.

LuigiScript.pngLuigiWe don't have to worry about them. Mario, We can literally set them on fire, with our fire powers.

UARTailsScript.pngTailsThis will be a piece of cake guys. Relax. Smok
e some more weed.

ShadowScript.pngShadow (hidden)We also have a hostage and they won't think to try anything when they find that out.

ShadowScript.pngShadowBring him in.

(Grapeface appears, injured)

GrapefaceScript.pngGrapefacePlease don't kill me. All I want to do is build a Vagina Plant Utopia.

Page 19

ShadowScript.pngShadowthanks again for paying for the stage and all of it. i can't thank you enough

Cocoa Puffs BirdI got you what you wanted now give me what you promised.

(Shadow gives Cocoa Puffs Bird a bag of Cocoa Puffs. Cocoa Puffs Bird churches the Cocoa Puffs and then snorts it)

SilverScript.pngSilverWhy the fuck am I here again? I know I keep asking myself this but still. Why?

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyLike, are you sure about this man? It's getting me off vibes.. You kidnapped someone. Do you know what laws you're breaking? And were your accomplices by association. Do you understand that you're fucking all of us!

LuigiScript.pngLuigiWhat's wrong tooth pick? Don't like getting fucked hard random style?

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyI think you're taking this way too lightly. Like, what the fuck.

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooRhere's the weed smoking?

ShaggyScript.pngShaggyScoobs, you're smoking a bong right now mam.

ScoobyDooScript.pngScooby DooWoah..