Chapter 17: Psychological Assessment/Script
Previous: Chapter 16: The Guardians part 2/Script
Next: Chapter 18: The eye of the storm/Script
Stats
- Character count: ~27600
- No spaces: ~22500
- Character wtih most lines: Tails (33)
- Character(s) with least lines: Vivian, Russ T., Shadow (1)
Page 1
Rob (thinking)SHIT!! IM UNDER WATER!!
HindoOh how wonderfully sweet it has been, to see the mighty Dragonborn fall before my very eyes. How you pushed me to this, how you pressured for your own destruction, You little warm! One of the many scum of this earth. Oh how i wanted to see you crawl like the bug you truly are, hahaha.. get on your knees and pray for mercy, yet no, i won't give it to you. Crying for me to spare your miserable life. Oh and how you continue persisting in every action you've made, you fucking fool. Now i will show you the depths of your mistake, and you will beg me when we meet in the after life, beg for me to protect you from eternal damnation in hell. You are just as pitiful as these low level trolls i work with everyday, good ones are just too hard to find.
HindoElectricity is so powerful on it's own, but with water in the mix? It's unstoppable.
HindoFarewell Dragonborn! You were a difficult foe to face but i am the victor!
HindoDIE!! AHHHHHHH!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!
(Hindo launches a beam of lightning at the lake.)
Rob (thinking)SHIT!!!!!!
RobFrost form!!
(The surface of the lake is frozen. Hindo's lightning strikes the ice to no effect.)
Hindo.................
Page 2
RobFire Breath!!
Hindo..................... no...........th....thats..........noT possible .... no....NO!! NOOOOOOO!!
(The ice melts creating steam. Hindo, angry, shoots another beam of lightning.)
Hindodamn it i can't see a fucking thing with this steam in my way, he used his fire breath on the ice. son of a bitch. i can't see my target very well, you won't slip away from me
(Hindo is suddenly punched by Rob and depowered.)
Page 3
(Hindo crashes through a pillar on the roof and lies there in a state of shock.)
Hindo..........h.... how?.. how did he, do that?
(Rob, battered, lands on a pillar.)
Narrator Guymean while what happened during the fights
MarioI almost have all the items that i'll need, so how long is this going to take? I am ready to defeat the trolls once nd for all. After Luigi's sacrifice, this better work damn it.
E. GaddMario, this idea is in the middle of the editing process. It will take a few moments before i will be able to determine if it's functioning as planned. But, oh Lord Jesus Christ God Almighty of the Holy Bible! This is fascinating! If this works then we will be the first evar to create the!!
E. GaddThe!!
E. Gaddthe Holy star!!
MarioYes perfect. Now the era of Mario shall begin.
Page 4
Russ T. Mario, do you understand how delicate and valuable this star actually is? It was impressive that we were able to fuse twenty stars together into one star but, to imagine its powers now.
E. GaddThis takes the stars to a whole new level. The time limit is much longer, lasting longer then a few seconds. Now using the star will be like a super model in bed, no longer lasting for five seconds.
ToadsworthAs you told us Mario, you had the Troll King trapped with the star correct? Well this star will last more then enough to kill the Troll King. And we have another device for you, that will prevent you from being effected by the words of death. It's a potion that makes the drinker deaf, the effects last two hours. This should help you for the fight to come, and the Trolls will come to fear you Mario.
Mariohere we go!! Ima mario Im a number one
(A Toad rushes in.)
ToadMARIO!! something is wrong
Mariookay what is it toad? what is the problem?
Toadsomeone we are unfamiliar with is coming this direction. we have no clue who it is
Mariothanks toad for telling me, I'll go check it out, you guys stay here
Toadsworthjust wait a second mario, there is a big chance its a villain of some sort. a troll perhaps, i suggest we retreat
E. Gaddtoadsworth could be right but this might be the perfect time to get a hostage, someone to get info out of.
Marioif its a troll, he's gonna die
Toadsworthbe careful mario, these trolls are much stronger then goombas
(Mario goes outside the base he is in.)
Mariooh i see that damn troll right over there!!
Mariohey stop right there troll!!
PoriHello Mario, it's been awhile since we last met. But just like then, i have no hostile intentions towards you what so ever. I wish to help you.
Page 5
MarioYes, i remember you.. You were that Troll that was talking to Shadow, it was when me and him first met. What a damn fool.
(Flashback to Chapter 1, where Mario first appears and attacks Shadow.)
Mario (flashback)which one of you trolled toad!!
Pori (flashback)he trolled your friend
Shadow (flashback)what?
Mario (flashback)DIE!!!!
(Back to the present.)
MarioYes you're a Troll!! i don't take help from Trols, so this is the end for you! Sorry, well not really.
PoriHave you seen me Troll anyone so far? No? Have you Trolled anyone in your life time Mario?
(Mario appears taken aback by Pori's message. A flashback to chapter 5: tails kid napped, Page 4 when Mario flees from the Troll Slaiyers.)
Mario (flashback)this was fun but i got places to be
Mario (flashback)hey you mad bro?
(Back to the present, Mario begins shouting.)
MarioNo i haven't Trolled before! It doesn't matter if you're a Troll or not, you're still apart of the Trolls group, which means i will never take assistance from you.
PoriIf the Trolls knew you were here, do you really think that they would send me here to have a civil conversation with you? If you haven't forgotten, you're not really on Troll Kings good side. You would be dead by now if i were an actual Troll.
PoriLucky for you, i'm not an actual Troll but a spy. I have been spying for the Defenders for some time now. The Defenders are a group of people devoted to protecting the families and children who can't protect themselves.
MarioHmm.. True or not, what is with your special interest in me anyways? Help me with what? I have no reason to give a flying fuck, so why waste your time explaining? I don't trust you, it doesn't matter what side you're on.
PoriI didn't expect to gain your trust right away. Well, i will share some of the info iv learned, and then i will let you decide what to think about it.
MarioFine, just get it over with so i can continue preparing.
PoriDid you know that Shadows species has a dramatic difference in life span, compared to humans? They live many years longer then any existing human. Egg Man had a big part in it. but Shadow is actually double your age. Well you're aware of Shadow being an ex Troll i am assuming? That was about twenty, thirty years ago give or take, iT was before your birth. Shadows job within the Trolls, was being a recruiter. Well one beautiful day, he ran into this guy that went by the name of Kario. he was the very person who recruited your parents, Mario.
Page 6
Mario....................
MarioLiar!! i don't believe you, you're lying
PoriI really wish i were lying, it would spare you the thought. But it's all true Mario. I'm sorry to say this but you needed to know.
MarioShut up!! That can't be true do you hear me?! I don't believe you, you Troll!! if there isn't proof then you better shut your fucking mouth!!
PoriI had a feeling you wouldn't believe me, that is why i attained this photo. Here you may keep it, that should be more then enough proof for you Mario. Take a look and see it for yourself.
PoriYou see, i am no enemy of yours.
MarioImpossible.
(Pori's photograph reveals Shadow and Kario posing together.)
Mario....Why? Why do all of this? What is the point of this?
PoriAs a spy for the Trolls for so many years, i am able to see the whole picutre. You, and our Brother's lives were ruined by the Trolls, starting off from your horrible parents. All your efforts to cast revenge has backfired. I thought it would be good for you to knoew how it all started. I believe you will win and defeat the Trolls.
PoriWell, i have been gone far too long, i must be on my way. I wish you luck, and i hope that Shadow doesn't ruin anything else.. We will meet again mario
MarioDAMN YOU SHADOW!!
Narrator GuyMEAN WHILE
(The scene moves over to a camping ground in a jungle.)
Troll KingHm, they hid the Words of Death really well. It's muchmore challenging to find then i first expected.. Hmm.. We need to search more thoroughly.
Page 7
(Alex is spying on Troll King from behind a rock.)
Alex (thinking)Ehh.. Man i am craving a smoke right now.. Too bad i can't, it would give away my position.
TravousSir, why is the sky red?
Alex (thinking)Who cares why the sky is red, It's a nice change of scenery. I was getting annoyed by the blue pansy colors we were seeing all the time anyways.
Troll KingIt's most likely something related with the Guardians, they change the environment when they get into battle with other creatures.
Troll KingThe battle could be anywhere within 100 miles from here, It depends on the Guardian. They tend to battle with their own kind in random events. Iv learned a decent amount about that in my years. They're just brainless animals yet very powerful.
BluebertOkay Boss, oh so all the Guardians change the scenery?
Troll KingWell not at the same time of course, the strongest Guardian takes over the area of control, If there happens to be two Guardians in the same area. Iv learned of that from the very people who taught me The Words of Death. Sadly they aren't so willing to help me out again in this current situation, because i am a Troll that uses them for personal gain.
Alex (thinking)Interesting, that does explain why he would need to look for The Words of Death, considering he already knows aboutthem. I thought he would have known their locction. Damn.. I really need a smoke right now.
TravousThey're definitely making it rather difficult to find them.
Troll KingTheir kind are very intelligent. They're probably hiding in a location i wouldn't think to look, but we will find them.
TravousSo you believe these Words of Death will help the man in the ice, to help you take down Shadow and his groups?
Troll KingThat's the idea.
TravousOk, i got a question, why don't we just search for Shadow instead and take him down? You could defeat him at this point i am sure. And i'm pretty confident that i could find him for you with a little time, so why not cut this short and hunt him down?
Troll KingBecause he is extremely elusive, he would manage to escape. I don't even know where he is, and even if we found him, he would slip away before we reach him. He is clever under pressure.
TravousThen why not use The Words of Death on him? What's stopping you from saying them, when you do find him? You had no problem using The Words on Mario and Luigi. And Shadow won't really expect The Words of Death, or that Shockwave of yours. Just saying we could probably kill Shadow you know.
Troll KingListen Travous, it is a much more complex situation then that, its hard to explain. For one, there's a reason why i only use The words of Death in drastic situations, it isn't a flawless attack. It has backfires, it has a cost for using it. And for Shadow, i have something special in mind for him and when the time is right, he will die.
TravousSo you're saying The Words of Death has it's downsides? It has side effects and weaknesses? Well, i have no doubt that whatever you have planned for Shadow, will end up to be glorious Sir.
Page 8
TravousI do enjoy kissing your ass Sir. Though i do have a question, if what you said is true about The Words of Death, then why did you use one of the Words on Luigi? It was clearly not necessary. So why do it then? I mean he was already cornered, and you didn't know the capabilities of the star, so what was the reason?
Troll KingAs a Leader i have to, time to time, establish my sueriority. At the time i knew my followers were wondering if my Leadership was for the best. Doubting my authority, my judgement. Questioning my Order. If i didn't establish my power, my dominance. If i didn't show my power from time to time, then they would start to plot againt me.
TravousOh i see, so you need to be seen as powerful or intelligent or Leadership will be questioned?
Alex (thinking)i wonder what exactly is required to use The Words Death? Does it deal emotional or physical pain? Or is the price of such power have something to do with the users health? I am wondering what kind of backfires this power has.. I think Troll King wants it to remain a secret for a reason, perhaps so it won't be used against him some how. I do enjoy following the Troll code and all, but my power has so many limits.. I am getting tired of following orders.
Alex (thinking)I think after i get The Words of Death, i might have to dethrone our dear beloved King. He has been the Leader of the Trolls for so long, i think retirement might be what's best for him. And i think i would lead better then Troll King or his son and his pathetic gang of fucktards. Since Troll King does have the Words of Death, the only way to get him before he gets me is in his sleep.. So that is what i'll do when the time is right.
BluebertWait, there's something i don't get. Why are you so obsessed with Shadow anyways? I mean he killed some non-important Troll, so the fuck what? They are just badies if they died like that anyways. It's not like he tore off your arm like Luigi lol. Shadow hasn't done anything to you, he's just a fucking noob.
(Angered, Troll King chokes Bluebert and pops his head off in a manner similar to how Sonic was killed.)
Troll KingJust like you, he disrespected me.
Alex (thinking)His head exploded just like a tomato, or like a zit. Oh Troll King, my time of following you will be coming to an end. And my era of controll will begin, after i get The Words of Death and kill you.
Alex (thinking)No hard feeling Troll King, but my approach to killing Shadow and his fucking moron friends will be a lot more effective. So when the time comes you will die by me.
Page 9
Troll KingSo Travous, how's your observing serving you so far?
TravousWell, i definitely find it all interesting Sir. I also like how you killed that blue guy.
Troll KingGood.....
Narrator GuyMean while, back to Tails.
TailsWhere did Cheeto Man run off to? And why did he leave me with you Spyro?
SpyroMan, you are awsome but don't forget where you got it from. The most badass awesome dragon in the fucking world! And i am the coolest motha fucker you will ever see. My time should be gold to you bro! Besides, Pacman toldl me to always watch you along with Cheeto Man.
Spyrowe're your body guards now bro. And Cheeto Man is doing one of his drug deals in the back room.
TailsWell, i am done waiting here so let's go see how it's going. Don't worry I will keep my cool, i promise i will be fly like a butterfly.
SpyroFine Tails, let's go then. They're in here, keep cool bro keep cool.
(Cheeto Man is seen at a table selling bags of weed.)
Cheeto ManThis one right here is the second highest grade. Now, because of it's great quality, it must be priced at $35 per dime. It's Banana Kush so it shouldn't be sold for any less.
(Cheeto Man's buyer is shown to be Knuckles.)
KnucklesAlright, The prices to all these sounds reasonable. Some i might have changed but yes, i will take all you can give. I mean i have no time to waste with these different kinds of weed here, i mean god damn..
TailsKnuckles??
(Knuckles is shocked.)
Knuckles................... Ta.. Tails?
KnucklesTails is that you?! Oh man i have been looking everywhere for you. How did you meet my bud dealer? You don't know how happy i am to see you alive and well, and even more pimp then i remember you too.
TailsCheeto man is your drug dealer?
Cheeto ManYeah for many years. It slipped my mind, i forgot to tell you about how i sell Knuckles his smart weed, and all of his other stuff as well. We're pretty good friends ya know. Oh did you know that knuckles once smoked out of a bong made out of a disco ball? It was so rad, dis mutha fucka knows how to smoke his weed yo.
KnucklesHey, does Tails smoke WEED
Page 10
Cheeto ManYeah, i hot boxed Tails and he's been a natural ever since. Come, sit down. We will smoke some joints and some of this fucking pipe. Spyro if you hog this weed, i will kick you in da balls son.
SpyroPlease, i am too awesome to be intemidated by such words. And anyways, that was a one time deal ight?
TailsYou know Spyro too Knuckles?
KnucklesYeah, he smoked with us a few times. Last time wasn't so great but, it was great times and i am so glad you joined the weed side Tails. You don't know how long i have waited for you to be apart of the weed community.
KnucklesAlright Cheeto, i say we all get a joint each while we smoke from the bong. We need to clambake this room and have a great time yo.
(Cheeto Man moves over to a couch and takes a seat, with a bong and some joints scattered on the table.)
Cheeto ManYeah i'm already ahead of you. Take a seat bitches.
DougHey guys, i know i was a bitch last time but please let me join.. I promise i won't be over dramatic again...
KnucklesI don't know doug.. You just got really weird on us the last time, and i don't know if we want that to happen again.
DougPlease? I'm begging you guys.. I won't do it again i promise...
DougIv been having a really hard time because my robe shrunk, and i had to ask Pacman if i could get another one, and he said.
(An image of an unamused Pacman appears.)
Dougonly if i stopped eating all of the food
DougI mean come on! I get hungry man..
(Knuckles appears deadpan.)
KnucklesSeriously
Cheeto ManLet him join, we have plenty of weed and he isn't that bad yo.
(Doug is overjoyed.)
KnucklesAlright come on in. Shut the door on your way in.
Page 11
Narrator GuyIn the other room, Ronald and Kermit are talking.
KermitRonald, i have imformed Pacman of all that has taken place. And, he agreed that the Intellect Bond level one is necessary for us to find a solution to this "snapping issue" of yours. And of course, how we'll make sure that you don't lose control again. We can't have that event replay it's self.. Whenever you're ready, we will begin.
RonaldPlease start right away.
KermitVery well. Alright, i need you to begin to channel upon the mental stream, and remain still. I need you to relax and clear your mind as usual if you will.
(A purple flame appears between Ronald and Kermit. It lets off a wave before lines from the flame and are connected to Kermit and Ronald's heads.)
KermitGood, now you have to focus. Do not let your thoughts drift off in a random daydream, do you understand?
RonaldI understand.
KermitNow, let's go back to where you first met Tails.
(Flashback to Vivian training Tails. The scene in particular is new, rather than being old panels.)
Vivian (flashback)i agree that you aren't able to use the shadow style like i do, but i think I've came up with a compromise
Ronald (thinking) (flashback)Look at that weak little FUCK trying his hardest to get strooooonnger! It's so adorable, poor little teddy bear. I won't let you take my spot in the defenders.. The so called prodogy thinks he can be a hero with out the hard work in the proper training hahahaaa...
Ronald (thinking) (flashback)Well i will show him the difference yesss.. I will see for myself, if he is actually worthy of my time.
(In the present, Ronald remains steady. The scene then moves to chapter 11: wild tempers, Page 14 where Ronald first meets Tails.)
Ronald (flashback)oh heeeyyyy i guess your the amazing tails that pacman told us much about, wow....... im being sarcastic if you can't tell
Tails (flashback)yeah im tails, so whats your story?
Ronald (flashback)what would happen if i pulled out a knife right now and decided to stab the so called chosen one to death, there wouldn't be much of a story then would there? i wonder how everyone would react to find out there hopes in such a person was false hope
Page 12
(The remaining page is essentially a copy paste of Page 14 from Chapter 11, with the exception of Kermit's line as he observes Ronald's memories.)
Tails (flashback)..............
Ronald (flashback)but what would be the fun in that? no... i want to see what will happen when you do battle the trolls, i want to know which one is weaker then the other? hmmmmmmmm yes
Ronald (flashback)oh i apologize, i got off the subject, i want to tell you why trix rabit refused to train you, trix rabit, he was trolled all his life by countless kids and thats why he hates the trolls, and not just hate either, he has trust issues and he didn't want to train you for that very reason,
Trix Rabbit (flashback)i hear you talking about me, stop talking about me, trix are for kids, no there not, give me!! GIVE ME.. trix are mine, no there not, there for kids hahah no silly rabit, there for kids!!!
Trix Rabbit (flashback)DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY JUST SAID!? TRIX ARE FOR FUCKING KIDS, SILLY RABIT TRIX ARE FOR KIDS, SHUT UP I WANT TRIX TWO!!!! YOU FUCKERS GIVE ME!!! GIVE ME THE TRIX!!!
Ronald (flashback)THE TRIX ARE GONE, YOU CANT HAVE THEM BECAUSE THERE GONE THERE GONE!!!
Trix Rabbit (flashback)GIVE ME THE TRIX, J.....J.J...J JUST GIVE THEM TWO ME!!!!
Tails (flashback)wow you guys are out of your fucking minds, you guys are crazy
Trix Rabbit (flashback)AHAHAHAHAH !!! TRIX ARE FOR KIDS HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!
Trix Rabbit (flashback)AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Ronald (flashback)don't mind him, he likes to go nude sometimes, he will put his robe back on at some point
Kermit (thinking)So far there isn't anything that would trigger Ronald to snap like he did. I must look further.
(Panels from chapter 11: wild tempers, Page 15 are shown.)
Tails (flashback)wow that story was super amazingly awesome, im not even joking right now
Ronald (flashback)you want to know what i can do, im an illusionist, i create illusions, i play with your eyes, i can make up 1000s of different illusions you see i could do what ever i want while you see the illusions
Tails (flashback)hmmmmmmmmm so what are you gonna teach me
Ronald (flashback)nothing, im warning you, hahah im not gonna teach you anything, because why would i give you that kind of jump, your not worthy of this power i have
Tails (flashback)get to the point already and just say it, say it like a man
Page 13
Ronald (flashback)fine, i think your just a waste of everyones time hahahahah
Tails (flashback)why don't we just fight this out already
(Ronald's memories go black and are not seen. In the present, Ronald begins sweating.)
KermitWhat is this? A Blank spot? I can't seem to access these memories.. This isn't good, the point of the Intellect Bond is so i can see true memories regardless if submerged or blocked out completely.. But, it's still inaccessible even to the Intellect bond, and i haven't the slightest clue why..
RonaldNOOO!! Don't hurt me nooo!! AHHHHHHH!!! HELP MEE!!!
KermitCalm down Ronald! You're disturbing the link!
(The scene then moves back to Ronald's childhood. He watches as his obese sister Rosie goes outside. During the flashback, he is a young child with ordinary colored skin.)
RonaldRosie don't go out there.. They will make fun of you again...
Slick Pete You fat tub of lard! I bet every time you walk, bacon grease leaks out all over the place, and makes it slippery..
Doug Walken Hahahah.. I don't want to even imagine how wrecked your mothers pussy is, after giving birth to you, you fat cow! What's wrong? Did you eat your family? Heehee.. Lets throw food at her! I bet she will eat it off the ground.
Slick Pete Take this five dollar foot long in the face you bitch, ketchup free fatass.
Rosie Ahhherrr Whyyyy!! Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nomnomnommm....
Slick Pete AHAHAHA!! Like omg man, she ate the foot long in a quick five seconds oh my god, lets go man.
Doug Walken Yeah.. Let's go before she decides to eat us, i don't want to be eaten out.
Slick Pete Hey man, i heard you can get really high off of sleeping pills. And what will make us cooler then the other kids? We will swallow a whole bottles worth of it.
Doug Walken Yeah man, even know it said for under aged kids to not do it, and to not take more then 2 pills or risk of dying. But we're gonna do it anyways, cuzz we are so cool. Hell yeeeahhh.
Rosie Ahhhhherrrrr... Pleaaasee... Pleaaase give me morrrrrrreeeee!!!...
KermitMiss Piggy? Oh.. That isn't Piggy, my mistake. Mm, try to relax.. The memories are all over the place, i need you to calm down.
Page 14
(A different scene showing the young Ronald finding the corpses of the trolls who trolled Rosie. In the dark, a bottle of pills is seen.)
RonaldThey killed themselves off with those pills. I suppose they can't make fun of anyone anymore if they're dead.. So it's ok now, they are dead. They're dead now.
(Ronald's memories go black again.)
RonaldGET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU MONSTERRRRRRRRR!!!
KermitI am not a monster! Ronald relax! I can no longer make out the memory images!
Kermit (thinking)Damn it.. I have to break the link, but if he continues like this then he could suffer brain damage..
RonaldI see you heehe... Ohh i see you, you are EVILLL!! You won't control meeee.. YOU WON'T CONTROL ME!!!
Kermit (thinking)What? He is breaking the link on his own?
(The Intellect Bond is shattered. Ronald retreats into the corner of the room, rocking himself as he cries.)
Kermit (thinking)Something isn't right, Ronald has never acted like this to the Intellect Bond before... I can't make out why he's acting this way..
KermitHmm, i see. This will take longer then expected. Ok Ronald, take a break and get rested before we try again.. That is all i can do for now ok?
RonaldYour eyes.. You're looking into my soul.. My soulll...
Kermit (thinking)I don't know what's going on in his head, it's not his normal behavior..
Narrator GuyMean while, back to Tails and the gang in the other room.
KnucklesOh Tails, Cheeto Man was right, you're a natural. Which i can't say the same for Doug..
Page 15
DougWoah, everything looks so trippy. My head is spinning, i feel like i am being sucked into a vortex.
KnucklesWell like i was saying, yeah man that is so what happened..
KnucklesYeah i remember wait, it was on the tip of my tongue. Fuck, what was it again?
SpyroOh my god there he goes again ahahahah!! He is not one of badassness..
SpyroNooblet.
(Tails smokes from the bong.)
TailsDoug..
TailsCough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough!
TailsChill out Doug and let it flow man... Let it flow.
DougHey Tails.. HEY TAILS!! Sit on this couch here and lay, lay down.it feels like you're being sucked into it bro..
TailsAhaha i'm alright here, i feel sooo good right now. Oh i wish i had some big boobs in my face right now.
KnucklesDude you should totally fuck Hello Kitty, man she's a good fucker man ahahaha..
(Everyone except for Knuckles and Tails seems shocked by Knuckles' remark.)
Doug......
Spyro.......
Cheeto Man...........
TailsUmm heh yeah.
TailsWait what did you just say knuckles?
KnucklesI didn't say anything. Of man yeah, you should so like get with Hello Kitty, she's pretty good in the sack.
Page 16
(Cheeto Man frowns.)
Cheeto Man...............
Doug......OHHH MAN!!! THAT REMINDS ME!! Vivian offered sex to me man.. So i fucked her for 5 hours straight! Oh it was so good oh yeahh... Of course she wants my Gaga disco stick bro, it's the size of a boat no lie bro, no lie..
TailsWhat did you say Knuckles? I didn't hear that last part because Doug doesn't now how to control the volume in his voice..
SpyroDoug that is total bullshit and you know it bro.. You have a tiny dick, and Vivian says that as a joke. I don't think she or he fucks anyone.. Sadly i think she, he is a monk. So your comment is not awesomely badass you tard.
(Knuckles does an evil grin.)
TailsKnuckles?
Cheeto ManYeah, dumb mutha fucka.. She doesn't have a gender. She just takes on da form of a girl.
KnucklesHuh Tails?
DougBullshit bro i fucked her for 5 hours man no lie..
SpyroNo, you fucked Trix Rabbit for 5 hours. Which reminds me, are those rumors true about Shadow and Hello Kitty getting it on?
DougFUCK YOU MAN!! It wasn't trix rabbit retard..
Cheeto ManThen it was that blue fucka hahahaa..
TailsWhat did you say Spyro? Doug, shit man.. You talk before people finish what they're trying to say so i can't hear them.. You don't have anything interesting to say so go fuck Trix Rabbit so we can chill dude..
DougFuck you bro.. I didn't fuck Trix Rabbit or Skeeter..
Cheeto ManSo they were fucking you? hahahaa..
KnucklesHahaahaa.. Oh man da cheese is on a role!
SpyroOh man, you just reminded me of something i was gonna ask you ma. You should join The Defenders Knuckles. It would be totally badass yo.
Page 17
KnucklesOhh sweet. I'll go talk to Pac-n-Sack about it later dude. Oh, and to answer your question Spyro. Yes, all the time haahaa.. There wasn't a moment when Shadow wasn't fucking Hello Kitty.
(Cheeto Man appears slightly annoyed. Doug then suddenly begins to sing.)
DougOHHHH!!! I LOVEEEE YOU SO WHY YOu HAVE TO HURT MEE!!!!! OHHHHH!! WHY CAN"T YOU SEE THAT I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO KEEEEEPP YOUUU!!! OHHHH!!!!! I LOVEEEE CHOCOLATE MILK!! OHHHHHH!!
SpyroStop singing like a fucking dragqueen Doug.. I can't hear myself think. Shut your gay face bro...
(Tails continues using the bong.)
TailsOMG DOUG!! really? really dude?
DougFuck you man, i don't sing like a drag queen..
Cheeto ManSeeing that everyone is talking about it, Tails if you do have an interest in Hello Kitty, then i should give you some advice, because we homies. I have seen a lot of guys fail in trying to make her their woman. Embarrassment and failure are assured. It's hard for dudes to get anywhere with her, it's like trying to get with brick wall, it's hard bro.
KnucklesIt wasn't hard for Shadow.
SpyroYeah really, maybe you just don't know her that well homie.
(Tails continues using the bong. Cheeto Man appears to become more visibly irritated.)
DougHEY! I don't sing like a drag queen, did you hear me?! Fuck you guys.
Cheeto ManNow i regret letting dis mutha fucka smoke.
DougWhy me? Not cool.
KnucklesLet's bail on this fuu and call over some bitches
(Doug suddenly reaches for Spyro's small brown dog.)
SpyroDoug put my dog down you dumbass!
Page 18
The Fucking Awesome Dogbark! Bark! Bark!
(Doug begins to nom on the dog's ears.)
Dougnom nom nom nom nom
The Fucking Awesome DogYELP!!
The Fucking Awesome DogYELP!!
(The dog bites Doug's finger.)
DougAHHHH!!
DougAHHHHHH!
(Doug hurls the dog onto the table.)
DougOuch he bit me..
KnucklesOhhh shit, you fucked up Doug.
(Spyro is furious.)
SpyroDUDE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS, NO ONE THROWS MY MOTHA FUCKING DOG AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!
TailsYou might want to leave Spyro fucks you up dude.. You know what? Kick his ass Spyro!
DougFuck you man he bit me..
SpyroBECAUSE YOU WERE BITING HIS FUCKING EARS!!
Cheeto ManCalm down son, That mutha fucka can't help that he is stupid.
DougFuck you bro, you mad bro?
KnucklesTails pass the bong dude.
(Tails is now seen holding the bong and The Fucking Awesome Dog.)
TailsOne more hit, of this shit is dah bomb.
SpyroGET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!!
Page 19
DougNo fuck you bro.. You can't kick me out i didn't do anything.
SpyroYOU THREW MY DOG INTO A TABLE YOU PRICK!! NO WONDER YOU AND SKEETER BROKE UP YOU'RE A LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!!
Dougwe were never together i told you guys, fuck man, fuck you bro.
(Spyro takes on a fighting stance.)
SpyroI'm going to kill him.. I am going to rip out his throat and then wash my hands, becaise i know his throat is full of fucking cum.. I am going to fucking kill himm..
KnucklesTails come on man, pass the bong.
TailsOne more hit, this is dah bomb.
Cheeto ManAhhaa Tails, gotta learn how to share man.
TailsI am sharing, with the dog because it needs ot not be full with pain of being smashed into a table anymore.
KnucklesThat's deep Tails.. That's very considerate of brosurf.
DougOh god my stomach...
(Doug pukes all over the floor. Knuckles is weirded out.)
DougOh god why did i do that? Ohhh.. That was terrible...
SpyroWHAT THE FUCK MAN!!
(Doug begins to cry.)
DougMe and Skeeter didn't have sex ok? IT WAS JUST A HAND JOB!! IT WAS ONLY A HAND JOB!!
Page 20
TailsAhahahaha..
TailsAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
SpyroHE JUST FUCKING PUKED ALL OVER MY FLOOR!! THAT'S NOT FUCKING BADASS!
(Doug passes out in the puddle of his own puke.)
Cheeto ManDamn this nigga stupid.. Hmm, let's head over to my pimped out crib ight? Doug passed out so no reason to let hhim ruin our fun. Knuckles, call some bitches over cuz we is gonna party all fucking night son. Spyro bra, worry about Doug tomorrow. Just take your mind of it for noww ight?
SpyroOhh i will get him back for sure.. But you're right, I am too awesome to be bothered by this fucking loser.. Lets go party!
(Knuckles pulls out his Pantech brand cell phone.)
KnucklesOhh i have lots of STD-free bitches i can call, they will be over in an hour man. Damn Tails you still laughing? Hahaa nice.
TailsHaaahaahaahahaaa... How? Hahahaaa.. How do you puke on weed? Ahahaa!
Cheeto ManHahaha..
Narrator GuyOutside Cheeto Mans room.
Cheeto ManWelcome to my crib.
TailsWooooow.
(Inside Cheeto Man's room, a pool table, hot tub, and green sofa are seen.)
KnucklesSweet, you installed the hottub.
Cheeto ManOH Yeah
Page 21
TailsYou have a white tiger rug?
(The rug is shown.)
Cheeto ManYeah, fuck them tigga posers. Help yourself to a beer in the fridge dudes, just don't puke on my floor..
TailsAhahaaa..
SpyroDamn Tails, you're blazed the fuck out. That's hardcore.
Cheeto ManOhh that's just the start, Prepare to get wasted to the very core! Gather around, this is my most prized possession yeaaahh! This, is the round table. Even know it's square.
TailsOhh that's cool, but why is a table so important?
Cheeto ManThis is why.
(Cheeto Man pushes a button under the table. The group is then surrounded by a cube of cheese.)
Cheeto ManIf you want out, then you have to eat your way out mutha fuckas!
KnucklesHaha sweet.
(Cheeto Man pushes another button revealing an elaborate bong in the middle of the table.)
Cheeto ManThis is my beauty and we, are the knights of the round table.. May we begin .
KnucklesOh yeah! Light that shit up bro!