Chapter 26: Anguish/Script
- Character count: ~40000
- Character count (no spaces): ~33000
- Character with most lines: Tails (58)
- Characters with least lines: Hogwart's: emo daughter, emo stepson, youngest daughter, great grandfather, grandmother, dog, Truck Driver, Truck driver's cell phone, Satan, Kelic, Yoshi, Helgrim (1)
NarrateurLAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z
NarrateurSilver and Tom are struggling against the evil Hellhound, Can anyone stop this strong new foe? Or is this the end for our heroes? Find out now on this episode of DRAGONBALL Z.
(Rob is lying on the ground, knock out)
Hell HoundFuck that kid, I'm going to kill him.
Hell HoundShut the fuck up.
TomHe's just a boy.
Hell HoundYes, He's just a little boy, But he's a strong boy.
Hell HoundHe has a power level higher than yours little bitch, you in danger.
Hell HoundMm! Mm.. If he learned to control his Dragonborn powers it would be very bad for us.
Hell HoundSo you see I have no choice but to murder him, because that's what we always resort to.
(The Hell Hound give Tom the middle finger)
Hell HoundGo fuck yourself.
Hell HoundYou bitch.
TomNooo!!! Wait! He's just a boy!!
(The Hell Hound walks towards Rob)
Hell HoundYou are the first to ever damage me like this my prey! You are a true warrior who is worthy of being a Dragonborn, And you will have a death that is also worthy of a Dragonborn.
Hell HoundNOW PREPARE TO DIE.
Hell HoundShould I use my double sunday technique? It's my favorite.
Hell houndI came up with it on my own. It happened on a Sunday while I was eating an ice cream sundae. It was literally a double Sunday! So I decided to name this powerful blast that. Because it made me laugh. You will enjoy this so much you'll DIE! Hahahahaha!!
SilverDid he say ice cream?
Hell HoundPrepare to die!!
(Tom grabs the Hell Hound)
Hell HoundWhat?? Don't touch my tities!!
TomYou're mine now!
TomDo you feel it now?
Hell HoundI told you I was married! Now let go of me now! I was going to kill the boy!
Hell HoundDamn it! You have a good grip, I cannot possibly escape.
Hell HoundYou bastard! I should have killed you when I had the chance!
TomSilver! Hurry! You must use your ultra super special move now!
SilverTom, Sometimes you amaze even me. Now hold tight, I plan to kill both of you. Mwhahahahaha!!!
SilverHold on Tom, I'm almost ready.
SilverSo you're going down with the hound, How very noble of you, Forgive me for not trying to stop you, But it's convenient for me!
SilverI'm almost there Tom! Hang in there.
TomSilver hurry up! I can't hold him longer.
Hell HoundDon't sacrifice yourself for those hedgehogs! You dumb fuck.
SilverPrepare yourself Tom.. It's time.
(Silver shoots a beam of light towards the Hell Hound)
SilverSpecial telekinesis cannon!!
Hell HoundHoly shit!!!
(Tom and the Hell Hound dies)
(Cut to a house)
Hogwart's emo daughterMom... you think father will come back..? Troll King is a big bummer.. I'm so emo.
Hogwart's emo stepsonI'm so emo too. If Daddy doesn't come back I'm gonna be suicidal.
Hogwart's youngest daughterDaddy not coming back??.. What about my education?
Hogwart's wifeHe's coming back!! Don't worry! We just have to have faith..
Hogwart's great grandfatherHe's been a bitch ever since his first wife died. He's gonna die out there. We're all gonna die soon, without his income we won't survive.
Hogwart's grandmotherShut up! That's a horrible thing to say! " Cough" "cough" that's your fucking grandson! And he's done so much for all of us! Have some respect! He's fighting for our city! He's a hero!
Hogwart's dogHogwart... I need you to fill my food bowl... and give me belly rubs..
Hogwart's wifeCome back, Hogwart.. we need you..
(Cut to the dead body of Hogwart, Pori walks over it)
PoriTheir trail just vanishes at this point. I'm not gonna be able to locate them when I have nothing to track..
PoriIt seems that all the Trolls I was with didn't survive..
The NarroratorHi everyone...My name is Narrator guy.. Yes, that's my name..I guess I was born to be a Narrator, who knows, all I know is...
The NarroratorFUCK THAT NAME!! I'm not even the Narrator anymore!! This is bullshit!! Give me a real fucking name!!
(Narrator guy is walking out of a water park)
The NarroratorEven the water park wasn't able to make me feel better...
The NarroratorI don't do a lot these days..Mostly just being alone and feeling sorry for myself. Who knew something so small would destroy me so mush..
The NarroratorIt's just..It was my soul's purpose. My destiny.It was who I am.. I was really fucking good at it too..
The NarroratorBut...here I am..without it..replaced by some douchbag.. who doesn't get creative with the meanwhiles.. and is practically not there. Lazerbot probably got him because he's a CHEAP ASS MOTHERFUCKA!! HOW COULD YOU FIRE ME!
(Narrator guy is now on a side walk)
The NarroratorI'm sure it was because of my spelling and grammar..but.. that's so mean..and now..I just want the pain to go away..
Troll 1Hey you Noob! You're a loser that has a moron face.
(Three trolls appear)
Troll 1You beard looks like a donkey's ass hole. It looks stupid because you're stupid.
Narrator guy...I like my beard though..
Troll 1Well you shouldn't. It looks shitty because you're shitty. Donkey ass.
Troll 2Hahaha. That's good. I like the part when you called him stupid.
Narrator guyYou don't even know me...
Troll 1No one does. Because you're unimportant Your life sucks donkey ass. Straight from the hole!
Troll 2This Hobo. Needs to go go. Hahahaa I like the part when you said he was shitty.
Troll 3Wait. I know this guy... He's that crappy Narrator guy Lazerbot fired! He was so bad! I would've fired him sooner.
(Troll 1 give Narrator guy the bird and grabs his crotch)
The NarroratorWhy does everyone always have to beat me down.. I'm not even doing anything to you.. This is not fair..it's unjustified..
The NarroratorBut..maybe they're not wrong.
Troll 3You're gonna cry? With your idiot moron stupid idiot dumb moron face.
Troll 2Yes. 100% because you look like a donkey's ass hole! Ugly. It looks ugly because you're ugly.
Narrator guyWhat's with you in donkey ass holes? You have some problems man.
Troll 2At least we have a fucking job! Noob!!!
Troll 1Hahaha I like the part when you called him unimportant! Hahaha You mad!!!
Narrator guyNot mad...
The Narrorator...Just sad.
(Narrator guy walks to the middle of the street and lets a truck run over him)
Troll 1What the fuck is he doing?
Troll 2Hey you gotta wait for the light you dumbass!
The NarroratorIN THE ARMS OF THE ANGEL
FLY AWAY FROM HERE
FROM THIS DARK COLD
AND THE ENDLESSNESS
THAT YOU FEAR
YOU ARE PULLED FROM THE
OF YOUR SILENT REVERIE
YOU'RE IN THE ARMS OF THE
MAY YOU FIND SOME COMFORT
The NarroratorI love this song ..
(The driver of the truck is looking a FNaF porn)
DriverDamn, she has nice Bobs. Very beautiful woman. Big thighs are good for the eyes. She would be good for having a baby. Milk truck just arrived, Hashtag MILF
(A yellow thing saves Narrator guy before he gets ran over)
The NarroratorHow did I get over here?..
Troll 1What the fuck was that? I thought that ugly donkey ass was gonna die for a second there. I wasn't sure if I wantedd to see that shit.
Troll 3That was some magician magic trick shit. Like, that dude flashed into some grass. Like woah.
(The yellow thing, of screen, throws a shuriken at Troll 3)
Troll 1HOLY DONKEY SHIT.
Troll 2What the fuck!!! He's dead!! Ahhhhh!!
(Troll 2 runs into the middle of the road, a dude is reading a review on his phone)
PhoneThis movie was garbage. It was rushed, the main charactrers never got together, even with chemistry. they remained the same and they had no character development. It wasn't realisic. It was stupid and annoying, the pacing of it was really bad. They cut corners, they skipped shit and it was confusing. And it kept flashing back to memories that weren't relevant to the story. And I don't even know why they needed a talking dog. It was not funny, they had this tasteless Misplaced humor. They ruined the franchise. The original ones were much better. They didn't have to remake it! The old one was better they should've left it the fuck alone! The mom was fucking retared and jugemental! She was a bitch for no fucking reason! Then they wanted to flip her character and try to have her care after her being a horrible human being the whole time. She never apologized! And they just acted like nothing ever happeneed. She didn't even change her behavior. They just accepted her shit. Who in real life would do that? And don't get me started on that small fat kid. He was always trying to do those one liners and make things edgy. And he just made everyone uncomfortable. And I just wnted to punch his fucking face. Worst character I've ever seen! And that fucking worthless villain, they amped him up the entire film. And then killed him with only 2 minutes of battle. He was was such a bitch. His goons lasted longer! There was like a 30 minute fight scene with a random fucking guy at the bar. And then the actual main bad guy doesn't even do anything. He's just hyped and talked about constanly. And then he just dies. That's called shitty writing! That guy was useless! It was just a dragged out dramafest! The family just argued all the time. And I was so tired!! Just shut the fuck up! I don't care if you become popular at school!! School doesn't matter!! You die in the end!! And that pediphile teacher can suck my dick! You should've told your parents about him! You could've avoided a lot of shit!! Why did you think it was okay? Why the fuck did her friend not tell anyone when she found out!! Are you fucking stupid? He was manipulating her! She was needing you! What the fuck! And the dog didn't do anything either!! He was the bad comedic relief! I am done with this fucking movie. I wasted and hour and thirty minutes of my life I will never get back. I'm giving this 5 thumbs down. I don't recommened anyone ever watching this movie. It has to be the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I hated every single seconnd of that piece of shit film. It wass agonizing. I felt like screaming at those dumbass characters. Doing nothing worth watching! They just fucked around the whole time! Nothing made sense! The beginning was shit. The end was shit. Hashtag, Fuck that movie.
(Troll 2 get ran over)
Troll 1Holy shit they're fucking dead!!
Troll 1Who are you? Why the fuck did you do this!
Troll 1I'm talking to you!! Why did you kill them! They weren't doing anything wrong! You donkey ass face!!
(The yellow light is revealed to be Spongebob)
SpongebobWhere's Squidward, Troll?
Troll 1What?? You killed my friend over that? What the fuck!!
SpongebobAnswer my question or pay the ultimate price.
Troll 1...I don't know who that is!! this is not fair..it's unjustified..
SpongebobThen you're no use to me.
(Spongebob pulls out a katana and cuts Troll 1 in half)
(Spongebob takes away his katana)
SpongebobDon't walk into traffic. It's not safe.
Narrator guyWhat's your name? I have never seen you before.
SpongebobMy name is Spongebob Squarepants..
(Cut to a flashback to some weird ass place where Saralite is. A green portal opens and Spongebob comes out)
Spongebob..I've made it back..
SaraliteHello, welcome back.. Did you gain what you desire?
SpongebobYes, and many more.. How many years has it been?
SaraliteIt's been three years but I'm sure you are aware by now that time works differently in that world.
SpongebobOne final question.
SpongebobMy best friend Patrick...Do I have the option to free his soul? Even though he was the cost for this new found strength?
SaraliteIf I receive something of equal value, only then would I accept any exchange.
SpongebobI understand..we shall meet again.
(Spongebob walks away)
SaraliteBe well, strange creature.
(Spongebob walks away, the Narrator follows him)
Narrator guyWhat you did to those trolls was incredible.
Narrator guyCould you teach me your ways?
Narrator guyCome on man, I'm having a really rough time. I need some kung-fu to better my life. I'm done being a weak bitch.
Narrator guyCome on man. You don't understand man. I lost my job and I was good at that job. I was made for that job. That new guy dosen't have shit on me.
Narrator guyAlso I'm an alcoholic and I have major depression. I just need someone man.
SpongebobI don't care..
Narrator guyCome on man. I could show you around. I know this place like it's the back of my ballsack.
SpongebobNo more of this.
Narrator guyOk awesome!! You're my best friend now man.
Narrator guyThere's so much I wanted to show you. Oh man, I used to have this hot ex-girlfriend. She was really beautiful.
Narrator guyThen we broke up and she broke my heart. And then I got fired so yeah it's been really hard but things will get better now because I just met you. I think things are starting to look up. You know?
Narrator guyWho needs women anyway? Not that there's anything wrong with women, I'm just saying I shouldn't derive so much meaning just from being in [...] for the [...]
(Cut to inside of Coyote’s book. Coyote has woken up)
CoyoteThis could have ended very badly for me. It appears Demaro was trying to take my life but was too worn out to accomplish the task.
CoyoteI didn't even realize this was the page I chose to fall into. Demaro could have killed me if he woke up before I did..
CoyoteI suppose I'm lucky I didn't choose the page with the Yin Yang Serpents or any of the pages with the guardians in it.
CoyoteIf I did, I would be dead right now. It's going to take some time to get everything in my book back under my control again.
Coyote (Thinking)That third eye guardian probably won't let me recapture it very easily. I'm not sure how I can use it for combat yet, but if I can, that would help against the trolls tremendously.
Coyote (Thinking)Hm.. I'm still confused as to the reasn why it would save my life after our battle..
CoyoteI could speculate all day over its motives for keeping me alive but I don't want to jump to any conclusions..
Coyote..I don't know what to think of the events that happened recently.. I have many unanswered questions that I need to solve..
Coyote..I have to replenish before I can do anything..
SatanI OWN YOU!!
CoyoteHe said he was the lord of hell, he was no mere demon.. That was Satan himself..
CoyoteI understand now Demaro..
CoyoteAfter you lost everything, he came to you and offered you powers. Out of your hatred and grief you agreed to sell your soul to him.
CoyoteI almost became just like you after Sylvester's death.. You don't even realize that you're just a chess piece to him..
CoyotePerhaps he flared your hatred for me, like he did for me towards the Trolls. How long has he been manipulating us all?
CoyoteWhen I was talking to Porki, He said his death was Satan's doing..
CoyoteDoes that mean all neutrals who gain their powers from the Satanist branch are cursed with misfortune?
CoyoteWas all our suffering his doing? Did he ruin our lives just so he could own us and use us for his own bidding?
(Flashback to Kelic)
Kelicthats everything . it might sound bad but we are tools and thats why this power exists
CoyoteThat would explain most of this..
GarryHey!! Why the fuck is Demaro still alive!!
Coyote (Thinking)Oh that reminds me. I don't know where magma Garry is. I have to relocate his corpse. I don't know if it got destroyed by the bomb of not.
GarryI'm talking to you!! Why am I still in your book! Talking animals suck STD invested assholes I swear.
GarryFuck you twat, I bet you snort coke off your mums vagina lips on a daily, you imbred fucktard.
CoyoteCould you give me a minute? I just woke up..
GarryWell boohoo, your fur looks like it has skat in it. Take a shower ya filthy animal! I'm dead and I'm still stuck in this shit hole with him! He's the reason I'm dead!.
GarryI don't give a fuck if your tired. I'm tired of looking at both of you existing..
CoyoteWell, you're as rude as ever. I'll Be honest, I have no respect for you trolls. The only reason I'm tolerating you is because you're already dead.
GarryI helped you fight that bug fucker! now let me out of this faggot graveyard. You owe me that much.
CoyoteI don't know enough about spirits to let you go just yet.
GarryI'm not your damn experiment. This ain't some ghost hunters shit. I paid my dues. Now get me the fuck out..
CoyoteWould you relax? Why are you so hostile? It's almost like being an ass-
hole is programmed into your brain? Do you think aggression and anger will always get you what you want in life?
GarryI'm not waiting here to be a part of you and Demaro's three way.. I have no intention of seeing your lip-
stick color dog dick.
CoyoteBe quiet, Troll.
GarryYou be quiet!? Fucking dick-
head I should put you in the pound.. put you down like the bitch you is!!
GarryDon't facepalm me dickward!! I'm The one who facepalms you!
CoyoteIf you stop talking I'll consider setting you free..
(Coyote sits down by a tree and focuses)
(Cut back to Knuckles)
KnucklesWhat the hell am I doing again? huh..
KnucklesMan, I need a smoke. I forgot what I was doing.
(Knuckles smokes some weed)
KnucklesWoah, This smoke is trippy.
Lazerbot (in Knuckles's head)Thank you
CC, Aubrey, Poe like, Ellis Stothard, Alejandro Monlina, Hanariko, Justin Carr, Muffin-Done, NinjaGrump, Puke Fuckem, Robotech1989, SoggyWrist And The Porduction Team.
KnucklesDude, What the fuck did I smoke?
KnucklesAll those people sound cool though.
KnucklesYou know, I might be smoking too much...
KnucklesNah, I think this calm weed is going to sooth me.
KnucklesIf only I could remember what the fuck I'm doing out here.
KnucklesOh yeah, I remember. I was smoking weed.
KnucklesWhere the fuck did I get this bong?
(Knuckles smokes the bong)
KnucklesOh I remember. I'm going to get Shadow because everything is fucked up. I can't believe I forgot that shit. This weed be fucking with me. It's pretty good shit but damn.
(Knuckles finds a camp)
KnucklesThere's the camp, But it dosen't look like anybody is over there. That's werird.
KnucklesShit man, I wonder if they all left?
KnucklesOh I remember this..
KnucklesOh those were good times.
KnucklesWhere the fuck is Shadow? Did they relocate their camp deeper in the jungle?
(Knuckles finds some dead bodies)
KnucklesWhat the fuck.
KnucklesI guess Shadow ain't burying those Trolls anymore.
KnucklesMan I used to love smoking by that tree.
KnucklesWasn't that the town Shadow destroyed for no reason? That was a dick move. Not cool.
KnucklesShadow!!? Where are you? Come out, Come out wherever you are.
KnucklesMan, I wanna smoke more weed, Where did that bong go?
(Knuckles steps on a green and purple mushroom. It make purple smoke come out)
KnucklesCough! Cough! Cough!
(Knuckles passes out)
NarrateurBack to Mario, finally-
NarrateurWait, Mario is in this comic?
MarioI need more soldiers if I want any chance to defeat Troll King. I didn't want Peach to get involved in this, but I have no other options.
(Mario climbs off of Yoshi. Daisy appears)
DaisyYou heading back to the castle? Where's Luigi?
(Mario looks down for a second, and then puts on a fake smile)
MarioWe split up on the way! I'm sure he'll come visit you soon.
DaisyI'm glad to hear that. You both travel safe, okay?
(Daisy waves to Mario as he and Yoshi make it to the castle. Yoshi is left behind out side)
ToadThe Princess will be glad to see you. With the trolls encroaching more on our territory, her father has been really antsy about letting her outside.
ToadI should warn you, she isn't too happy about being cooped up. Or about you leaving her.
(Mario and the Toads walk inside)
MarioI'm sure it'll be fine. We love each other.
(One of the Toads opens a door to reveal Princess Peach)
(Peach walks up to Mario and grabs him by the shirt)
PeachYou have some nerve-
(Peach pushes Mario to the floor)
PeachWhat happened while you were out there!?
PeachYou knew you had duties here and yet you went out anyway, please tell me it was for a good reason!
PeachAnd what they said about Luigi isn't true, right? He's alive, right!?
Mario...You knew? But Daisy doesn't-
PeachNo one has the heart to tell her, asshole!
(Mario tries to reach out to Peach’s hand, but Peach rejects it)
MarioThe trolls are getting more aggressive, Peach. It's true, about Luigi, Troll King murdered him brutally.
(Peach is shocked)
PeachWe...Have a truce with Troll City... How...Has this happened?
PeachIt's all because of your stupid feud with them, I told you...
(Mario grabs Peach’s shoulder. Peach grabs Mario’s arm in a threatening way)
PeachYou men and your stupid pride.
PeachYou're going to be the end of this kingdom if you don't stop this madness. You will jeopardize our allyship with them and start a war, Mario.
PeachI know your trauma makes you angry towards them, but... We don't have the means to beat them, yet...
(Peach gently grabs Mario’s hand)
PeachPlease...We can work on it together... Stop fighting them...For the kingdom's sake...
PeachFor our sake...
(Peach kisses Mario on the forehead. Mario starts to cry)
MarioThey killed Luigi, you stupid bitch. What the fuck are you talking about, you expect me to just give up now?
PeachWhat the fuck did you just call me?!
MarioIf you don't want to be called a stupid bitch, don't say stupid shit to me! You have no idea what I'm going through!
MarioThe lost lives will be worth it! For every one life, we will save hundreds! Why don't you get it? You're just a prissy little girl, whose daddy won't even ley her outside!
(Mario throws his cap to the floor)
PeachYou fucking jerk. My soldiers are worth more than that! Insulting my life won't make me want to help you, retard
MarioFor every one life, we will save hundreds!
PeachThey aren't disposable pieces. These are living souls. What's gotten into you? We can't sacrifice our people. A war is too dangerous.
MarioEasy for you to say, you've never seen a shred of death in you entire life!
PeachI live every day knowing thousands have died in wars that you scrotes start!
MarioYeah, because we have a shred of pride, unlike you, dumb whore!
PeachWhore? You're calling me a whore? I'll show you whore, you shrimp-dicked bastard.
MarioWhat are you on about now...?
PeachI fucked Bowser. I fucked Donkey Kong, too.
(Mario is stund)
PeachSometimes both at the same time. Double vaginal penetretion.
(Mario is angry)
MarioYou fucking bitch
(Mario slaps Peach across the face)
PeachThey were so much better than you. I came so many times when you never made me cum once. I hope you think about that.
(Two Toads block the door out of the room)
PeachYou'll regret this, Mario. You fucked up. No, and I mean no one, lays their hand on the fucking princess.
(The two Toads charge at Mario with their spears. Mario grabs one of the Toads by the head and throws him off to the side. The other Toad stabs Mario with the spear in the back. Mario rips the spear out of his back and stabs the Toad in the forehead. Mario is shocked at what he had just done.)
PeachAfter him. Alert the whole castle.
(Mario hides behind a corner. A Toad appears from behind him)
(Mario turns around)
ToadHi, Mario! Does the princess know you're back?
MarioGuys... I need your help with something.
(Cut to Mario sitting next to a campfire, with ~14 Toads with him)
MarioI'm sure you all heard about Luigi...
ToadWe sure did...
MarioI need you guys to help me avenge him. I'm going up against Troll King. It's extremly important to me.
MarioThe Princess... may not understand. So, we have to keep it a secret for now.
ToadI'll help you!
ToadWe'll follow you anywhere, Mario!
(A bunch of Toads raise their hands)
(Mario sheds a tear and gulps a bottle)
NarrateurLater that night.
(Mario enters Toad town (?), enters a public bathroom, smashes his bottle and buys some drugs from Tony the Tiger. Mario enters a stall, takes some pills, drinks from another bottle and injects a suringe into his arm)
(Cut to Hulk in the forest. Wanda Bread is following him)
Wanda BreadOooooooh, That green sexy ass. I only got 30 minutes left on my break. I need to hurry.
(Wanda Bread is licking her lips)
Wanda BreadSo let's get closer so I can see that wonderful ass of his.
Wanda BreadI don't know why they call you Incredible Hulk. You should be named Wonder Hulk. Because you make my bread moist. It'll be called Wonder Bread when we fuck. I want your babies inside me this instant.
(Wanda Bread steps on a sick)
HulkWhat was that sound? Who's there?
HulkOh, I guess it was a bird.
(Wanda Bread runs behind a tree, then a bush, and then another tree)
HulkI know you're in that bush! Come on out you bird!
(Wanda Bread reveals herself and goes demon mode for a second, then turns back to normal)
HulkWhat the fuck? That's not a bird.
HulkYou, What were you doing in bush!?
Wanda BreadI couldn't resist myself. I love seeing your luxurious skin again so I rub my fingers in your ass and throuugh your hair again.
HulkWhat!? Again? What the fuck you talking about?
Wanda BreadSome days I followed you home and I watched you sleeping and wanted to ride you all night, So I did.
(Hulk drops his bread)
Wanda BreadOh I've been waiting for this my life. My dreams are cumming true.
Wanda BreadFUCK ME!
(Hulk walks up to Wanda Bread)
Wanda BreadI want to bear your children.
(Hulk stretches out his arms)
Wanda Bread (Thinking)OH! He's gonna hug me. Those armpits. It's just as I imagined. I'm ready for your embrace.
(Wanda Bread stretches out her arms)
Wanda BreadHave your way with me.
Wanda BreadYes!! Yes!! YES!!
(Hulk smashes his hands onto Wanda Bread's head, killing her. Hulk picks up his bread and grabs some peanut butter. He puts the peanut butter on his bread and eats it)
HulkThis is good.
(Cut back to Kit and the gang)
ChadThis is fucking bullshit. This ruined my whole mouth and I was having a good month too. Why does this always happen to me?
ChadMy legs hurt and I saw to much fucked up shit. I need some rest and you guys are making me walk all the way back to the camp. I've been up all night without coffee!
ChadAnd we're not there yet! I want to sit down.
BoahShut the fuck up! If you don't stop now I'm going to knock your teeth out.
(Alice gives Boah a thumbs up)
Gene JortsThanks, that was really annoying. He's been talking for hours and I can't handle that, it needs to end for everyone's sake.
ChadAt least I am talking. You've never even spoken before.
Gene JortsThat's because I didn't want to talk to anyone. It wasn't worth the effort.
AliceThat's not true.
KitCan you stop arguing? I have a headache and I'm trying to figure things out.
Gene JortsYou probably have a headache from all this guy's talkinig. I know I do.
Mike PowerLo que deberíamos hacer es llevarnos a esta gente lejos de aquí y luego volver y mater a esos tipos malos por el culo.
(Rough translation from Google: What we should do is get these people away from here and then come back and kill those bad guys in the ass.)
Mike PowerAsí que estaba pensando en ti y en mí y tal vez el tipo de la barba pueda ir y encontrar a estos tipos malos y matarlos por el trasero.
(Rough translation from Google: So I was thinking of you and me and maybe the guy with the beard can go and find these bad guys and kill them in the ass.)
KitI don't understand what you're saying.
Mike PowerWe have to kill them for their asses.
(Everyone is shocked)
AliceMy father was right. We should't have come.
(Cut to a flashback, where Alice her packing her stuff)
AliyahLike, what are you doing? All this noise you're making is disturbing my ME time. You're such a pathetic dweeb.
AliceI've already told you, I'm going to the church camp again. It's not my fault you weren't listening, my dear sister.
AliyahOh, the place with all those fakers? All they do is judge you there. And they do the same shit they're judging you for. Not cool.
AliceYou literally do that as well.
AliyahYeah but at least I'm not pretending to be something better. I know what I am. And I'm not gonna change for no one.
AliceAliyah, you know change isn't a bad thing.
(Aliyah puts on her headphones)
AliceYeah.. Ignore me like usual.
AliceWHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU SEE ME?
AliyahCan't hear you, too busy not caring.
(Alice grabs her briefcase and walk down stairs)
Alice (Thinking)You just don't understand do you?
Alice (Thinking)People have died at this church before. Who knows what might happen. You could at least pretend to care.
Okino (Offscreen)Are you crazy! I'm not sending our daughter to that church anymore!! Did you hear what they did? They murdered someone!
Okino (Offscreen)They are wolves in sheep's clothing!
GraceThe sins of some men are not the sins of all men. We can't hold everyone accoutable for the actions of few! Besides, they lost a lot. They need someone who can be the lighthouse guiding them back to Jesus Christ. It's not our place to decide if they are lost causes!
OkinoThey literally cooked Hamy pig and Pepperon pig and fed them to us at a church cookout! We didn't know we were eating our brothers and sisters of Christ!
OkinoI haven't gone to that church since!
GraceI would take her myself but I have work.
GraceHave some faith and take her, she wants to help them. They aren't all like that..
AliceMom's right. Yes, what happened was awful! But leaving everyone that is lost would be awful too.. I want to be the lighthouse that leads them back to christ.
AlicePlease. I know I can help them.
OkinoIt's not safe..
(Boah and Jackson appear)
JacksonSo, we finally finished cutting down that oak tree. I think we'll have enough wood for winter which isn't that far away from now.
BoahYou guys seriously need to prepare for it much more thoroughly. It might be harsh one like last year.
OkinoYour mother is far too busy with work. She won't be able to accompany you.
OkinoI refuse to ever step foot near that corrupted organization and I recomm-
end you doing the same.
GraceWe can't just forget about them.
OkinoThey unrighteously forgot about that Porki Pig Guy, didn't they?
AliceLet he who is without sin cast the first stone.
OkinoYou're too good for this world.
AliceI know and I love you but you need to have a little more faith. I feel like this is what I'm supposed to do.
OkinoI don't know how to keep you safe.
BoahHey if you're feeling this way. I can keep her safe for you. She seems really dead set on going.
Boahwouldn't want to disappoint the little lady now would we?
OkinoThank you, I know she's safe with you.
OkinoBut I'm still concerned about this church. This is unholybehavior we're seeing. End of days kind of shit.
BoahHahaha your husband curses like a witch when you're not around.
JacksonTrue.. remember when he got that fishing hook stuck in his thumb Oh he had a mouthful.
OkinoThanks, I know you guys always have my back.
AliceCan I please go? I'm going to miss the church bus.
OkinoFine but if there's any sign of truble you leave. Understood? Boah will be joining you, If you need anything just call and I'll be there.
(Alice and Okino hug)
AliceDad, I'm gonna be fine, it's just church.
(Alice and Grace hug)
GraceDo your best, let your light shine. I love you.
(Boah and Jackson hug)
JacksonBe safe out there.
BoahI wouldn't worry about me. I'd be worried about the people who want to start shit with me. I'll fuck up those hypocrites.
(Alice and Boah walk out to the Church Bus waving goodbye to the others)
(Cut back to the present where Alice looks at her phone with ~20 missing phone calls from her dad)
(Cut to Chucky Kong and Teemo smoking weed next to a campfire and bunch of dead bodies)
TeemoHave you every wondered who used to live here? There's so much lost history in these places and shit..
Chucky KongNo, because there's no way we could know, Stupid. I probably wasn't alive back then.
TeemoDid you just call me stupid? I mean I am. But still, That's rude.
TeemoThose Trolls didn't stand a chance. I don't think Troll King trains these guys. I think he just sends them out to die. I think we're going to win this war without any problems.
Chucky KongNot to be a stick in the mud but they have to be some kind of threat to be some kind of threat
TeemoThat makes no sense. And you were calling me stupid.
TeemoI think you smoked too much. Although you normally don't make much sense.
Chucky KongThink about it though. Why do we have to train if they weren't a problem? They've killed a lot of people. Like us but they suck and we don't.
Chucky KongYou're just jealous of me. I've read pleanty of books. So I make lots of sense when I talks.
TeemoProbably not.. But I'll be real with ya. I kinda want a girlfrined, Settle down with her, Have a family. Make little baby Teemos. Watch them run around and shit.
Chucky KongThat will never happen, you're not attractive enough.
TeemoFuck you I've gotten plenty of pussy..
Chucky KongYou mean your hand? Because same.
TeemoDude, I didn't need to know that.
Teemo...Huh.. Knuckles just hit one of my mushrooms..
Chucky KongWhich mushroom? The one in your pants that makes all the girls dance?
TeemoI think knuckle's dumbass stepped on one of my mushrooms. Do you think I should tell Shadow? Or act like it didn't happen.?
Chucky KongThat's gay dude.. why is knuckles messing with your mushroom?!
Chucky KongI don't wanna tell him. He's fucking spooky. I don't know if it's safe...
TeemoOh he's definitely fucking crazy. But so are we.
Chucky KongOh yeah!! Hahahahah
TeemoBut we should probably tell Shadow. And if we don't do anything at all Knuckles might die from the poison. And then Shadow will probably kill me. I've died too many times recently...
(Shadow appears from the darkness)
ShadowAnd you'll die again if you don't get knuckles now..
TeemoYou almost gave me a heart attack, Shadow...
ShadowBring Knuckles to camp 1B. I'll meet him there. I have things to discuss with him.
(Chucky Kong and Teemo run away)
ShadowThose two give me a headache. They talk about the most pointless shit.. if they don't show improvement soon I'll have to dispose of them.
(Cut to Tails. He lights a fire with some grass and wood)
TailsI'm glad Pacman gave me an extra lighter. Especially because of how fucking cold it is out here.
TailsI fucking hate winter.
(Tails pulls out some weed from his backpack)
TailsI'm glad they gave me these joints. Because I have no clue how to roll anything. I just have a bag of weed from Cheeto man's party..
(Tails smokes the weed)
TailsMan, I'm not doing so good.
TailsI hope the medicine helps.. Cuz I feel like Donkey shit.
TailsPacman didn't give me any food. He just gave survival gear and a fucking book.
TailsI don't know how long Knuckles id going to be gone.
(Tails takes a big puff of smoke and a bunch of senses from Chapter 17 to Chapter 20 appear. Including, but not limited to: Tails and Amy kissing, Tails and Hello Kitty holding hands, Tails and Hello Kitty making out and Tails being shocked at the dead bodies in Cheeto Man’s pipe.)
TailsHe kind of fucked me over. He told me to fuck her and then got pissed off thet I fucked her. Like, what the fuck?
TailsThen he left me alone in the fucking jungle and I don't know how to survive. Like, really dude? You're a dumbass. You fucking asshole. Man, that dude pisses me off.
TailsHmm.. I wonder how Shadow is doing. He is worse than he already was? Is he even alive anymore?
TailsAre any of my friends alive anymore? And if they are, they probably think I'm dead. I'm sure that would be devastating to them. I hope they are ok..
TailsI kind of wish I was still a virgin. That whole situation is fucked up. That was horrible. It ruined my high.
TailsI kind of wished that place was like I thought it was instead of what it actually is.
(The fire burns out)
TailsFuck it's cold. I need to find some shelter.
(Tails get all his shit and flies away)
TailsThere has to be something around here. Maybe a cave or abandoned house.
TailsI know back where we used to live, we had a lot of caves. Me and Sonic used to play in them when it was raining..
TailsI never noticed how much I relied on him or how broken he truly was.. he was my brother and I didn't notice how much pain he was in.
TailsGod, it's cold up here..
(Tails sees a cave)
TailsSweet! That might work.
(Tails flies into the cave and looks around)
TailsHuh what's that noise?
(A bear appears)
TailsHOLY SHIT A FUCKING BEAR!!
(Tails flies out of the cave)
TailsI can't stay in that cave. That bear will fucking kill me.
(Tails flies on top of a tree branch)
TailsI can't fly right now, it's way colder up there.. and I don't have the energy. I'm fucking starving.
TailsI gotta get some food..
(Tails looks in his backpack and finds Survival Book)
TailsWell, that's not a very clever title.
Pacman (Book)Hello Wakka wakka. I've written down all my knowladge on survival, things I learnt throughout my life and I've been alive since the middle ages Wakka. I didn't get you any food but I did give you a book on how to catch food. We don't want you to be a lazy fuck. We're not going to hold your hand Tails. You need to know how to survive on your own. I'm nottrying to sound like a dick but we won't always be here to help. Any of us may die duting this future conflict with Cheeto man. So please pay close attention to my teachingy so you can survive this. I believe in you and I know you can do this Wakka.
(Tails flips a page)
Making a Fire....................38
Making a shelter................61
Building a raft....................181
Herbs & materiols................315
Ropes & Traps...................394
Medicice & anti venom..........420
Planty & Garden.................465
Sanity & loneliness.............516
Kicking Cheeto man's ass......640
Recovering from tramma.......731
Curses & breaking them........893
All knoeladge on Trolls.........913
End of contents
TailsThere's some cool shit in this book. Does this mean I can become a wizard? That's badass.
TailsMmm... I need to learn how to hunt.
(Tails flips to a the page were you learn how to hunt)
To survive the harsh contditions of the wilderness, food must be consumed regulary, so hunting is an essential skill.
Such situations can be draining on your stamina. So be sure to use the easiest method of hunting if you are short on energy. Like Traps and Fishing for example. Wakka wakka.
Weather can sometimes make you metabolize calories at a more increased rate. You may find yourself much more fatigued when the weather is not in your favor. Wakka, So keep that in mind during hunting situations.
Preforming the physical tasks needed to take care of your body uses a lot of energy as well.
So the concentrated calories from wild edible animals obtained through hunting can be almost a nesessity when surviving. Wakka fucking wakkka.
A lot of Bugs are actully edible, and in fact can be a good snack when you're traveling the wild. Wakka.
In party of the world, entomphagy, or eating bugs is commonplace. In other words, people regularly consume insects for their everyday meals in some areas of the world. Wakka.
They're literally everywhere. So finding them shouldn't be a complicated task. Wakka.
Insects are actually the most abundamt protein soure on the planet. So you should consider putting down any fears of the bug. Wakka, eating something that you find repulsive might very well save your damn life. Wakka.
So, what kind of bugs can you catch and eat? Wakka wakka.
Grasshoppers and crickets have a lot of protein in them, and they don't taste bad. You can collect them pretty much anywhere. Most grasshoppers and crickets are edible. And easy to find.
Cook them the though, you don't want to get any parasites. Cook your damn food, I'm serious wakka.
Anthoer option for meat is fish.
Fish are very easy to catch. You get a stick, you put a string on it and you put it in the water with a worm on it witch you can find in all kinds of mud and dirt. You can also catch fish with traps, nets, angling, spears and with a bow and arrow. Try to be clever. If you're slick enough you can catch fish with your bare hands. The abilities we've taught you will help you as well. Angling involves producing hooks from materials such as bone, wood, or thornss as well as twisting enough cordage to get the hook to the fish. Nettle, dogbone, milkweed, and yucca all work for fishing-line materials a single Long stand of sinew can make a wonderful Leader if tried seurely between the hook and line. The hook can either be baited or turned into a Lure by affivcing it to feathers, fur, yarn, or reflective material. Wakka wakka
Spears and bows are two useful tools to use when you have fish nearby. Wakka
However traps are a low-energy alternative. Especially when time isn't in your favor. I would say setting a trap is a good way to multitask when fucking surviving. Wakka.
Traps can be simple basket types, with a funnel to trap the fish within as they eat the damn bait. Oh... ohh. WAKKA!!... Excuse me. I sneezed.
Traps can be large.
Using stones stackes in a body of water to channel fish to an area where they can then be plucked from the water. If you can gat a small concentration area of just fish it will allow you to smatch them up from the Wakka easily.
Nets work in the same way when stretched out in the water. If you have the option to build a net, DO IT. it conuld come in handy in multiple situations. Especially when you want to catch larger fish, like dolphins or sharks. Wakka.
TailsWhat the fuck am I reading?... Well.. it seems like it could be helpful.
TailsI gotta trust Pacman, but it looks like he was high when he wrote this... There's just a lot to read..
Narrateur2 hour later . . .
(Tails closes the book)
TailsI didn't understand any of that.
TailsI think Pacman got way into the details. There's so much information and I feel more confused.
TailsBut I think I can do this. And I'm definitely gonna need that knife.
(Tails picks up a knife from his backpack. He get a flashback to when Shadow killed the trolls in Chapter 1)
"Me"You'll have to kill to survive dear fox. Get used to the gore..
(Tails is about to puke)
TailsIt will probably be easier for me to get some berries instead of hunting a rabbit or some shit.
TailsIt's kind of hard finding something like that.
TailsI don't even know if Knuckles will be able to find me. I don't think he even knows how to survive out here. Probably not.
TailsI think i’m fucked.
NarrateurLater that day. . .
Tails (Thinking)...I'm so hungry and thirsty..
Tails (Thinking)..I need to find food and water..
Tails (Thinking)..But hooooow!?
Tails (Thinking)..I remember how Sonic used to set snares to catch woodland creatures.. Ironically the same kind of creatures he used to save from Eggman's labs..
Tails (Thinking)..Hahaha.. Well, now that I'm thinking about it.. I can see why Shadow called Sonic a hypocrite.
(Flashback to when Sonic caught a rabbit)
SonicAs long as you know how to set a snare, you will always have meat to make my special jerky.. And of course, to survive. Survive first, jerky second..
SonicPoor little creature.. I'm sorry for this, I hope you can forgive me... ..But we have to eat..
(Sonic snaps the rabbit's neck)
(End of flashback)
Tails...Sonic... I miss you so much.. I'm so sorry I couldn't save Amy!
Tails...AHHHHHHHH!!!! I'M GONNA DIE OUT HERE!!!! FUCK YOU CHEETO MAN!!!
(A panther comes out of some bushes and pins Tails to the ground)
Ronald (Hidden)..Oh, he's going to die! I should've brought popcorn!
(Some hands come out of the ground and grabs the panther. Tails punches the panther in the face, and then kicks the panther in the stomach. Tails then uses the wrist band thingy that Dexter gave him and shoots a rocket at the panther blowing it up)
Tails...I just killed something..
Ronald (Hidden)..What an unexpected result! So the training has done something.. Lucky Tails! Poor me, I wanted to see you die. Maybe next time.
(A shadowy figure with the appearance of Sonic appear)
Ronald (Hidden)..What is this!? I can't see anything!?
"Me"You broke your own boundary.. You weren't supposed to end another life..
Tails..I had no choice, it tried to kill me!
"Me"So will Cheeto Man.. and the Trolls..
Tails.. They will all fail!
"Me"..Hahahaha... You couldn't kill him, not without me!
"Me"Oh, Dear Fox.. You are certainly naive.. How do you think you could beat him, hm?
"Me"You may know what he is, but you don't know how powerful he is.. If you go in blind you will die, Dear Fox..
Tails..You're right, I need help.. But not from you!
"Me"..Oh, you'll reconsider soon enough..
"Me"Until.. We will meet again, Dear Fox..
(The figure disappears)
Ronald (Hidden)..That feeling.. It felt so horrible, so dark.. So powerful!
TailsI wish I could've used that creature for food..
TailsI need to get this blood off me..
(Tails walks to a pond and washes of the blood)
TailsI can still clean myself with this water, just not drink it..
(Tails looks across the pond and sees Alex drinking the water)
AlexHoly crap it's that hopeless pussy fox.
TailsI'm gonna fuck you up this time. You have no idea.
AlexBring it on homo..
(Cut to Rob, Blaze and Silver next to a church. Then flashback to when Rob fought Hindo)
RobYou Trolls really don’t get it. You poke and jab at people’s wounds and vulnerabilities for fun. You belittle others and bring them down to lift yourselves up.
RobYou undermine the mental and emotional state of so many good people. Crushing their hopes and dreams so carelessly. Treating it like it’s no big deal.
RobBut you don’t choose to see the long term effects of your twisted games.
RobThis attack, this war, they were both inevitable..
RobDon’t you see tha--
Rob (Thinking)..What is this feeling? I sense an evil presence..
(Satan appears for just a second)
Rob (Thinking)What was that?
HindoI’m dying.. I don’t want to die. Help me.
RobWHO ARE YOU SPEAKING TO?
(Hindo turns demonic and attacks Rob)
RobWhat the fuck is happening!? His lighting is so fast now! Where is this power coming from? WHAT!?
(Hindo attacks Rob again)
(Helgrim comes in and saves Rob)
HelgrimRob! Jump on guickly. We are exposed to danger here.
(Hindo attacks Helgrim)
(Cut back to the present)
RobNo.. not.. my Dragon..
(Cut to Blaze's flashback)
BlazeSilver are you there? Is Tom doing OK?
BlazeI hope you’re OK Silver, please get back to me when you can...
(Blaze looks at Troll Fortress and sees the battle between Rob and Hindo)
BlazeWhat’s going on up there?
BlazeRob looks like he’s in big trouble. I must help him!
Mauller (Thinking)What the flaming fucks is this shit?
MaullerTroll fortress is under attack!? Where the shit is everyone?
MaullerHoly shit! Hindo is fighting a guy with a dragon? So Dragons actually exist? Damn..
MaullerMmmm, Perhaps I could assist Hindo with killing that intruder. It’d be good prectice for my new abilities. Besides, how often do I get the chance to fight a Dragon?
(Blaze hears Mauller's foot step)
(Blaze turns around and sees Mauller)
Blaze (Thinking)Damn it, another Troll! He seems to be looking towards Rob’s Battle..
Blaze (Thinking)Rob is already struggling against that other guy! He can’t handle anymore threats.
Blaze (Thinking)I can’t let this Troll hurt Rob!
(Mauller is surprised as Blaze suddenly attacks him. The two fight and Mauller gains the upper hand, easily blocking Blaze and tossing her around. After a flurry of punches, Blaze attempts to punch Mauller again but Mauller activates his powers to shield his hand as he grabs Blaze's burning fist. Light bursts from Mauller's eyes, blinding Blaze, and Mauller lifts her up, slamming her onto the ground. Blaze screams and engulfs the field in a massive explosion.)
(Blaze gets out of the fire)
Blaze (Thinking).. We have to get out of here. I don’t know if I can handle this guy right now..
(Cut back to the present)
(Blaze looks at Silver)
BlazeSilver.. What happened to you?
(Blaze sees Silver’s hand, or lack thereof)
BlazePlease get better soon.
(Blaze kisses Silver on the forehead. She then hugs Silver)
BlazeI love you Silver...
BlazeWhose stings are these? They’re not like any I’ve seen previously..
Sylvester (Offscreen)They’re mine...
BlazeWho said that? Why does your voice sound so familiar?..
Sylvester (Offscreen)It’s time for you to wake Rob..
BlazeI’m happy you’re alright..
Rob...Yeah.. You too..
SylvesterYes, I am visiting you in spirit, for my physical body is now deceased. My strings were made possible because when I was dying I somehow managed to control my emotions.
SylvesterI am not sure how this is all possible, but when I saw you guys in great peril I had to intervene. I think the God’s allowed me to play a part due to the underworld having a role in the events that took place.
SylvesterAllowme to explain further..
SylvesterCombat was never my strongest trait, so I trained my powers in other ways. One of them was to fabricate objects with my strings, even to the degree of imitating living creatures. Although there were always limits, My stings lacked the strangth and stability Coyote’s did and because of that they could be broken a lot easier. One powerful attack and they would be destroyed. I realized my tactics had to become more centered on stealth. I knew I couldn’t do much damage to a high class enemy without being clever with my abilities.
SylvesterSo I learned how to control my strings in my sleep, which was quite challenging ging to formulate a method for that to work. It was only when I learned how to lucid dream that I began controlling my strings in my unconscious state. This was something that I had never shared with anyone before. And I’d like to believe that it most likely played a part in why this is all possible.
SylvesterI was there beside you. During all of it..
SylvesterI didn’t realize that I still had my powsers as a spirit. I noticed you were all about to die and out of desperation I gave it a try, And to sur-
prise it worked. But my strings were completely different due to me being a ghost.
Blaze...I don’t know how to process this..
SylvesterKeep my body. Coyote might find some use out of it.
SylvesterYou will find Tom’s remains inside, he can be buried respectfully..
BlazeTom is... dead..?
Rob...Blaze.. We all did our best.. I just.. I couldn’t save them..
BlazeWe gotta get them inside.
(Blaze and Rob pick up Silver and Slyvester respectfully and walk into the church)
(Leon appears behind a tree)
LeonSo this is where you guys went. This must be your base.
LeonI wonder what Troll King would think about this?